Brett and S and Cohen went to her mother's for Christmas Lunch and Scott and I did not visit till the afternoon to give them all their presents from us and my Mum and my sister. Can't say I was made to feel very welcome and I was lucky to get given a tiny Pixie photo of Cohen and the explanation from Brett that they could not afford a present for me. Everywhere you looked in that place there were presents for everyone else.

Once again, Brett was nursing an injury - this time a foot. The trailer at work fell on his foot.

But now there is no work and no trailers and there will be no more living in that unit at Kings Beach because they are behind in their rent and the family is breaking down.

We do not know where Cohen will end up. S's Mum is moving to Harvey Bay in April and the word is that S will be back at her Mum's place with baby in tow by the end of the day. Brett has already moved his main gear back home with me where we already have a portable cot set up for more of Cohen's visits. But he is planning on moving in with K again which is where he was living when he first met S.

As for next Christmas, Cohen's second, anything could happen because there is certainly no guarantee it will be a family one for us. If this family breaks up permanently, then Cohen's life will be like Connor's. He will end up wherever his Mum ends up until he is old enough to choose his own environment. Our environment dictates our future, our education, our habits, our brainwashing, and choosing our environment it is the most important decision we can make for ourselves. You can change everything by changing your environment or you can stay with the "same old, same old" by being a creature of habit living in your comfort zone.

The advice, therefore, is to place yourself in an environment that will encourage you to be what you want to be. So what is it that you want to be? Or, what is it that you don't want to be? And where on earth can you best place yourself in order to get just that?

Baal HaSulam talked a lot about the importance of environment, so if you are interested in a Kabbalistic point of view click here.

2009 is off and running with further suffering.

So far there's been war in Gaza, recession, bad choices over buying cars, the re-separation of the parents of my first grandchild if only in living arrangements, one-upmanship in the game of "get even" between the parents of my second grandchild, jobloss for both sons, the continuation of ill-health, more from the orange people, useless Avon campaigns, virtual meetings, men who take more than they give and ebay purchases. I've seen both sons cry and I still have not got to go camping. It has been like some sort of a refuge at my place where babies, homeless people and users stay way beyond their welcome while contributing little to peace or financial support to the household. The house has been overrun with mice and is once again clean. My virtual world is more important than the physical one I live in. My teeth continue to decay. My knees don't like the air conditioner but "There is None Else Beside Him" so all is well in 2009.