Sunday, December 04, 2011

Family and CFS don't mix well

He arrived on Thursday.  I just drove him back to MaroochyD in crash mode which is a bad thing to do but he could not even borrow my car to use it to move because his license has not been renewed.  I crashed badly last night, falling asleep before tea and too drained to even move from the day bed to my real bedroom.  He clattered about but the next thing I knew it was 1am and it was then I realized I had had nothing to eat but I went to my bedroom and slept again.  Dizziness plagued every step.  I woke up the same way this morning.  He only started to worry when I broke down crying after his reminders to take him to move house and he did not feel very good about asking me to take him after that.  Before that, he simply expected me to.  By the time I got up, he had completely emptied my car of its camping gear etc which now is in the middle of the garage floor....meaning I cannot get my car back in and it is left for me to sort out....maybe next year????

We argued the whole morning and were both emotionally spent but in the end I had to take him if he was to meet his new landlord Eric (the owner) by 11am.  He sent me on a wild goose chase which, to cut a long story short about the annual toys for charity bike ride, meant driving the longest route possible.  We got to the house and I parked under the shade sail with the doors of the car open so I could put the seat back and sort of doze while he paid his money and signed forms.  Some dodgy-looking blokes rocked up in a car to speak with Eric and drove off again and it was at that point that S said that his teeth shifted in his head.  This has no meaning to you or I but it meant that he no longer wanted to move into this house because he is worried about his teeth not being straight again. He told me to look at them.  (They looked the same to me).  How anyone can use their teeth to predict bad vibes I have no idea but he had bad vibes.  Eric had since left and given S the key.  Someone else is moving in during the week as well but it seems S has the tiniest room and it has bunks in it that have to be dismantled.  At this point he did not know what to do so he had me take him back to the old apartment with the pool and his 50 year old housemate Evva (I thought he had said Heather before today).  It turned out she has a car so she could help him move his gear...... so my car was emptied out for no reason and he is entitled to stay there tonight which I reminded him about when he phoned asking me to come and get him.  He was the one who sent me home again saying he would handle the rest and an hour after me arriving home here he is phoning me up again.  Anyway, I had no petrol and even less energy left so I have not gone back for another hours worth of driving up and back.  I don't know what he is going to do but I told him to sleep on it.

It has been pretty dramatic around here since Thursday and his arrival.  I was angry that his distraction, anxiety and irrational thinking has never been admitted to so I was lecturing him and he was lecturing me about pushing myself more to get "cured" from M.E.  He also tells me I must give up coffee and use a cup and saucer to ween myself off it because that is my heritage (remembering afternoon teas when Nana has visitors). Meanwhile he has consumed twice as much of my coffee since he has been here and all my cheese is gone etc etc etc.

When I got all the gut problems back yesterday morning he was a lot more sympathetic because I guess it is easier to identify illness when I am heading in and out of the toilet a million times.  But the rest remains invisible.  Gut problems or not, yesterday afternoon was when Connor was due to be picked up after S had done some door knocking around my PW Avon territory if you remember that area.  I have to give him credit for his effort to make leads (5 Friday and 5 yesterday morning) but as it turns out he is not paid for anything unless a sale goes through.  No base retainer at all.  Another lie?  As you can imagine a lot of leads turn out to be dead leads because husband will not agree or vice versa or the telephone number given for contact is dodgy or whatever.  But he occupies himself with this sales position during the day when he is not studying.  He is about to embark on Business Law despite missing one of last semester's exams.  He knows his life is a mess but you know how he manages to blame everything other than himself for that.

I cannot find my lovely camera (even with the car totally cleaned out of gear) so I could not take decent photos of s in his uniform or Connor putting up my little Xmas tree for me.  No videos this year.  I will put what photos I have in here soon so come back to this entry to find them.  It seemed to be up to me to entertain Connor yesterday for the couple of hours that he was here.  However, we all had a shared session on the Wii playing Mario cart - a cute driving game.

It is fairly obvious that S does not think his own son likes him much and he is now reluctant to have him at all unless he has money to take him somewhere or buy him Macca's.  I tried to explain that all you need to do is give him your attention and do joint activities.  That is why I bought grandson Connor another Lego Hero for Xmas so that he and his Dad can build it together on Xmas day if they happen to be here.  Anyway you know how hard it is to convince S of anything he has got in his head so I can see Connor having much less contact with his Dad - it certainly is not happening every 2nd weekend like it used to and it also depends upon where S is living at the time.  The blue and yellow house was fine because Chris used to entertain Connor there a lot.

There is so much more I could tell you about this latest visit from S and how it is probably going to cause another week of bad health but what is done is done.  I can only hope that he does not come back here to live because that is what he suggested today along with paying for his lapsed license and using my car to get him around to his door-knocking areas.  He sounds fine organizing and arranging appointments etc on the phone but he is not.  I do not think it is bipolar Mum.  Paranoid anxiety with Aspergers thrown in or just plain old borderline schizophrenia.  Whatever it is, he wants to beat it himself without meds just like I thought I could heal myself of myalgic encephalomyelitis, fibromyalgia and the rest.

By the way, Roger just had his 60th birthday party (yes early).  Neither S or I got invitations.  B told me I wouldn't because of Bev but S should have got an invitation whether he would have gone or not.  But when Ange came to pick up Connor she told me they went to his party.  She is pregnant again!!!

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