Last Dentist Appointment Isn't


Been taking it easy doing nothing much so that I would have the energy to go to the dentist today.  It was supposed to be my last one and it was supposed to be the last month of the Enhanced Primary Care scheme (EPC).  Was originally told that the Government was too broke to continue with it but luckily for me it has been extended until March.  Not that I want to go to the dentist again.  God (or something) knows it causes me so much stress and pain just about every time I go.  Even cleaning my teeth had me jumping out of the chair for one tooth in particular.  I still have money left to spend in the scheme and she announced today that a filling had broken off and that I will be coming back to see her again.  Jan 5th.


Anyway now it is the end of the day and I can tell I have done too much - I went visiting and for a quick shop locally while I was out.  I have that violin-string feeling to my heart beats and the really blurry eyes I am learning to recognize as an earlier warning sign.  I have become more noise intolerant and the computer screen seems so bright that it sort of hurts but the panic attack kind of feeling I had for 2 days out of the blue has gone as fast as it came.  Maybe the couple of beers helped.  I got all relaxed and floppy.  I cannot drink wine or spirits but beer did not seem to hurt any the next day (today) because I increased my water intake to compensate.  I have to wonder what caused such horrible anxiety but trying to disperse that crazy energy by going for a dip and walk in the waters of Pumicestone Passage the day before that helped with the anxiety but it caused a physical crash by the afternoon.  I only went out for an hour including getting there and back and I had to lay around for the rest of the day.  After today's activity, I wonder what the next few days will be like.  I hope I am pleasantly surprised after having a good night's sleep but I will have to go out again tomorrow - this time to the doctor - scripts before X-mas and that referral for next year to a rheumatologist which is already booked.  I'll be out of pocket quite a bit after just the initial consultation.  He had better be an improvement over the last one who refused to accept Myalgic Encephalomyelitis as a better terminology for what ails me than CFS.  He was a muscular-skeletal kinda fibromyalgia man and I don't think he realises that the brain anomaly research shows changes in people with fibromyalgia that are also being found in people with M.E. (not including those who are just temporarily post-viral or fatigued from being depressed).  If the new rheumatologist is old-fashioned too then I will have wasted my money.  Enough of talking about me.


S says he is moving into some place on the weekend.  He has a choice of two.  We shall see if it eventuates. You can guess he will pick the more expensive one that reminds him more of being successful in life.  He works every afternoon and he sounds quite professional when he rings in his leads.  No-one would ever guess that he has these misleading intuitive sensations that are illogical yet which he bases his life decisions upon.


I got a Christmas card from Mum with some raffle tickets in it - just got to win the car so S can have mine.


B has awful money problems all of a sudden because instead of shutting down their workshop for one week, his workshop decided to leave early and make them all take 2 weeks off without pay and for his last pay they pulled a surprise on him too.  He has been getting his forklift ticket through them and they took the cost of it out of this final pay packet.  Simply put, he has not got enough money to pay the rent.  I will be helping him out which is going to mean a leaner X-mas but it will be fine thanks to my Mum and sister being very generous at this time of the year.  B has already had the Internet cut off.  If he had known this was going to happen he probably would not have renewed the lease on the house but he did so he cannot go and move in with his father.  I guess it is only for three weeks but three weeks is a long time not to have any income.


R won't have any money because he put some more in my account for child support back pay.  That is why I have my ipad already. The ipad is great for bed - for when I can't hold my body up at the computer desktop.  Nevertheless, I still prefer to sit cross-legged on the office-chair for postural reasons.  I can easily put my neck out trying to jack myself up a little with pillows in bed or even on the day bed.  But at the same time, I know my body gets its energy back faster when I am at least semi-recumbent rather then sitting upright.  Lying flat is the best of-course but it can get boring so it is better to be blessed with sleeping through a crash.  Some people cannot sleep more than a couple of hours a day and if you are in pain it is pretty cruel to have to stay awake for 22 hours out of 24.  My sleep may be way too shallow but I am thankful that usually I can get myself to sleep.  I have my own technique even when I am in pain.