Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Last Days in Gympie?

He phoned because he was so miserable.  Having Cohen every second weekend is making it worse for him and living in that house without a family has been really getting to him.  I'll guess that he is depressed and begging for her to come back probably made it worse.  He was so upset on the phone.  He didn't want to give Cohen back and has in fact managed to keep him for much longer than the weekend because she got kicked out of her Mum's house.  She also let the registration fall on the car so he has no car now until his Dad comes to the rescue with 4x4 dual cab which will have to be painted etc.

He has Cohen until Sunday which means that he has not been going to work either but he cares little about work now that he realizes that he wants to get away from Gympie.  None of his friends are there and without his family there it now means nothing to him.  He phoned me to see if he could stay here after his lease runs out on Dec 10th but already things have changed.  He wants to move to HB to be closer to Cohen and also because it is clear that she will not live in Gympie again.

It is a real shame that he is going to give up that job but to tell you the truth, I would not want to live there by myself either if it was me.  Roger wants him to forget her and move on.  Most people do.  He insists it is for Cohen but I know his feelings for her are so emotional that he really cannot be sure what is tormenting him about her moving on.  But now that she has given her approval to him moving up there, albeit in separate accomodation, I think that is what he will do.  She always did want him to move there since her mother moved there.

If he came back here to the Coast then he would hang out with his binge drinking mates especially if he was feeling miserable about losing the closest thing he had to a family life.  The only thing I have suggested is that it would be better to line up a job before he moved anywhere but now it looks like his Dad will be the stop-over point between leaving his current house and moving on to the next.  There seems little point in renewing the lease.

Today he has renewed enthusiasm because he also is saying he is going to give up smoking and drinking for New Year for Cohen.

As for me, I still feel very ill and I cannot see how having that son of mine living here would help me much.  I cancelled another dental appointment because I still have not recovered from last week.  My glands flared up even more, strange neck symptoms and I wondered if it was fibromyalgia from holding my neck muscles open in the dentist chair but it feels more like a virus to me as per usual.  Stiff, swollen inside neck, dry eyes, dry mouth and throat, still that burning, aching joints and muscles (often unbearable), light intolerance and terrible trouble with regulating my body temperature.  I can be sweating and using a foot warmer all in the one day and I am still wearing a scarf around my glands.  I wish doctors made house-calls.

The other one started a new job selling Austar this week but he was about to move house when I spoke to him because he is fighting with Pete.  It is a better reason than my health so maybe that means he is not making psychotic connections this week.

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