Thursday, May 31, 2012

While you're in Marysville, here's some more slides

Mum, I hope you had a lovely birthday yesterday and that Marysville looks a bit better now after the Black Saturday fires.  I checked the town out on Google Maps street view but their maps are usually old and there was still plenty of evidence of rebuilding and half-dead trees.

I feel a bit better today but only a bit now that I have been up all morning.  The head stuff from withdrawing from Tramadol is not as bad today but I am still getting light-headed and breathless from talking and walking.

I complained about the painters and the fan installation ruining the new paint yesterday via a phonecall and today someone from the Department came to see for themselves.  I think I will have workmen back here again soon which is the last thing I really need.  But I would like it fixed and the doors that won't shut.

I also got a phone-call from firstborn asking if he could come down as arranged.  I did actually agree to him staying overnight IF he was working in Brisbane Thursdays and Fridays but he wants to come anyway.  I said "no" if he is not working.  I just know he is going to ring back and maybe even arrange to work even though he said he wasn't going to take the job.

He still sounds like he is going through a "things are not working out for me" phase again.

Hey Zena (do you still want me to call you that?), now that you are footloose and fancy free, how about getting into scrap booking with all these old photos.

UPDATE: I just lay down for a rest and in walked you know who.  He's not sleeping and waking up with jolts and he wants to stay to organize work.  That was probably a lie, the work part, because as soon as I said "No!" he stopped mentioning work.  Anyway I was thinking it was Wednesday before so if he had any chance of getting that work back he should be there today because today is Thursday after all.  I always lose track of days when I am out of touch with the world.

I don't think him taking a job like that is going to fix anything while he is complaining he cannot relax.  I was like that yesterday and I have learned to lay low on those days not try and analyze or fix things.  It means you have to feel the anxiety for as long as it lasts and try not to take it too seriously and if you have any meds that help, you may as well take them and stop again tomorrow.  With S though he is young enough to still be thinking he is useless if he does not sort out his problems right now.  Maybe, maybe not.  But I have learned that if things don't come naturally because you have not got a gift in that area then forcing yourself is the worst thing you can do for your health.

I agreed to him staying three hours and he tried me to the bitter end for longer.  He checked his email that had not arrived, and wanted to check the TV but I am not sure why.  I could have used some help because I went and got groceries mainly to get out of the house.  He said he was leaving probably before I got back so I asked him to lock up.  I was so puffed out I sat in the shopping centre for a while for a while to recover a bit.  And then some more outside because it was raining and I had to wait for a break.  I even came home via the local boat ramp and sat there for five minutes or so but he was still here when I got back.  "Can I stay the night?", "No".  I know he was troubled and I felt mean having to say it over and over.  I did not ask for help getting the groceries in and now I have gut cramps again.  They had stopped.  I now think most of my gut problems are to do with brain signals to the gut - neurological, and my brain did not like all this activity.

He left at about the right time and I went back to sorting the fridge.  A few minutes later he was back.  "May I watch the five o'clock news?"  They can't get the channels up there.  "OK but then go".  Then all of a sudden he decided to leave before it had started.  One bin is out - he took out one of them.

All this has been happening as I sit here - I have posted it several times but something else keeps happening so I have to update the update.  He came back yet again.  He said he forgot his wallet.  He stood there watching the news for half an hour, received a phonecall from the Coffee Shop boss who told him that he can have the job but it will be next week now, remembered that he had not paid at the servo suddenly and took off again into the dark by now.  He seems happy now that he has Brisbane to aim for.  No sea to dip his toes in but plenty of girls and life and even if he has to "do time" sleeping in the tray of the ute, so be it, until he finds a place down there so he says.  Once again, he has a plan.  He seems much happier.  Phew!  I am not particularly convinced he has a gift for doing dishes, going by some of the efforts here but he does them whenever he is here and he thinks a lot while he is doing them I suppose.  When he left this time, he took the second bin out.  Yay!

Long-term weather report on channel 7 news for Queensland.  Does not sound good for you if you are planning to visit, nor my electricity bill, nor for trips out into the sun on the scooter.
Other forecasts say Winter is going to be warmer than usual down your way and our minimums will be higher.  Go figure.  OMG a car in the drive.

He forgot his washing basket.  He's been shopping.  Went to the toilet.  OK Bye.

Car won't start. One chop each for tea.

8pm - Roger is coming to look at the car tomorrow and S is staying the night after all.  Isn't life funny?

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