Recovery Day

I had a bad night again last night tossing and turning. I knew I was tired after working yesterday but my mood was good so I thought I would bounce back easily. But by the early hours of this morning I had that distressed feeling even while I was asleep and it become more difficult to sleep in peace. I got up to find myself all puffy in the face again. My temperature is 37.95 and my tum is upset again. I feel like a wrung out rag. I am so disappointed because I really thought I was going to be able to cope with work yesterday. I had had a good day. And I have so many things I want to catch up on from washing to folding away the swimming pool and cutting up palm branches. Now, just the thought of catching up with the lady next door to organise the lawn mowing for tomorrow seems like too much to deal with. So once again I must give up my plans and let the slow process of mending take all my energy reserves. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow with the chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia specialist GP so he can deal with it all.

In the meantime, I am getting worried about my Glucosamine Sulphate…it is a Bio-Organics product and costs up to 30 dollars a bottle. I have two bottles because it was on special. I saw the characteristic red bottles being pulled off the shelf on TV but the list has not been completed of recalled products yet. I am at the site I made a link to yesterday trying to find which are NON- Pan products but this brand is not listed. Rats! I have been living on the stuff. What about all the rest of the companies whose products I have floating around this house. Scott was put on new med yesterday but it is listed as a NON-Pan so OK. My Nicotine-replacement products are OK. We need paracetamol in this house so I can get Herron but not Farmland, Home Brand, nor Panadol. This is going to be a huge National headache. I guess this homework is something I can do while I am not feeling strong.

Tell Mum that I heard that she rang and the message I got was to buy the paper about some herb recall. I gathered he meant Pan products. Nothing useful was in the local paper anyway and the Brisbane Courier Mail safety instruction edition was sold out. I am checking every time I pick up a box but so far have not found any Pan products in my cupboard. Substiting beef cartilage for shark cartilage was mentioned in our local paper. I saw the bit about Travelcarm having hallicinatory side effects on the TV news and I found a list of the recalled products online here.

Sunday Outing

It has been a few days since I blogged. I have forgotten what I have done except that I was sick with a virus and got another year older in age. My birthday had both anxiety and joy in the day. The best part was finally getting to the Celtic Tea Rooms (http://www.celtictearoom.com/) in Maleny. I did something that I really enjoyed to do for my birthday. Much better than last year when I was at someone else’s wedding. It was lovely to have the whole family doing something together this year. I was so tired from the silly virus that one glass of wine was enough to go to my head and so I was merry in Maleny listening to an Irish jam session. They sang Happy Birthday. “She loves the Hog’s Eye Man” was what we sang after our yummy meal when we were outside in the fairy garden. Rec had ordered a cake which we brought with us along with our one bottle of wine between four. I was surprised to be charged six dollars for the cake plates as if five dollars corkage wasn’t enough. Breville and Scoot had chicken cacciatore. Ange had a vegetarian Lasagne. Rec had a fillet steak and I had the beef Guinness pie. The birthday cake was plenty for dessert. We did not have time to go for a walk in Mary Cairncross Rainforest but some of us had a very quick look in the information centre which happened to be featuring edible native fruits and pods. Seems to be the theme of the month. Talking about wild food plants reminds me of my poor old Australian Rustic Butterfly pupa in the jar. Either it has been fried by the electromagnetic field around my computer or it is meant to go black. The silver markings are turning bronze. I am still hoping this is not decay but I guess it is conceivable that the plant had been sprayed some time before I even bought it.

The continuing war between Breville and his Boss

Last week Breville was asked to work on the weekend and he said he would rather not. In typical style, Mr boss man is now in punishment mode and has swapped Breville back to afternoon shift and only given him 3 days. I have lost my morning quiet time once again.

The upholstery business ran out of unskilled work for Scoot so he has not been at work since last Thursday but he has work tomorrow.

I had a meeting at work yesterday and today’s tutorials went well. I am feeling much better but Breville has been home for two days because he started vomiting on Monday. He wanted to blame the food at the Tea Rooms but Scoot and I both had upset tummies with the bug we had.

Welcome Zena and Thankyou Rec

Happy Birthday Sparkle
Hope you had a great day.

I renewed my licence for another five years today. It has a photo of a black-haired woman as ID.

Blogger was not loading pages properly so I did not post last night.

The mornings are mine

Now both the boys are getting up in the morning early for work. Brett is still up at the main shop but doing morning shift till 1pm every week day. Having both days back on the weekend has made him happy. Scott has a really scungy boss. He pays him a set amount per day and if he agrees to start an hour earlier in the morning or stay back, he gets no more pay to show for it, so when his boss asked him to start at 6:30am instead of 7:30 again, he said no thanks. Scott would prefer to go strawberry picking with Ange when the season is in full swing so I think that is what will happen.

It is not fair

I cancelled my beauty appointment today because yesterday I began developing a slight sore throat and fluey aches. It seems I have caught the same thing that Scott has been complaining about. I was just getting over the effect of having Brett’s illness in the house. Scott has not been able to sleep properly at night either and he was sweaty in bed. Last night it was my turn to be woken in a lather and it was the coldest night of the year so far. It is one of those strange bugs with nothing particularly specific to complain about except a headache, body aches and some mucus down the back of the throat and an occaisional dry cough and lack of appetite.

Fairhill Followup

Here are some links to the trees Rob bought: Davidson’s Plum and
Aniseed Myrtle
Governor’s Plum is the closest thing I can get to mine but my tag does not say what the species is…just that it is the Flacourtia genus. Flacourtia indica and jangomas are also known as the Indian Plum. Flacourtia ramontchi
syn Flacourtia ramontschi is also known as the governor’s plum, botoko plum or madagascar plum. Seen Shipton's Flat in brackets after flacourtia sp. from the Cape.

This is the Australian Rustic Butterfly the Flacourtia hosts

Easter Monday

We are gearing up for roast pork for tea tonight. Not that I am doing much to contribute. I have decided that whoever really wanted the feed, gets the job of preparing it too. I am just too tired and dizzy. I guess yesterday was too long a day for me. I am going to go back to bed while the preparations are being made and hope that tomorrow is a better day. Maybe then I can deliver Brenda’s Easter egg. By the way it was Scott (and Ange by default) who volunteered to cook the meal. Brett has hooked his computer up to the television as a second monitor so that he can have two screens to distribute applications across. He has spent most of Easter playing online Army Ops….a virtual world created by the US Army simulating real army operations. It involves the use of squads, so Brett plays with a team and they talk to each other using realtime voice.

I tried to ring last night Zena, but your phone was switched off. I remembered fairly late to charge mine up so you may have tried to ring earlier.

The Easter Bunny Came

Easter greetings first came from My
Grocery Shop when they delivered my order Easter Saturday morning; a complimentary bag of caramel eggs. More greetings came from Mum and Zena (alias sister) via a quick mobile phone call that night. Scott and Ange stayed together in my lounge room both Friday and Saturday night so they were around for the Easter Bunny – me. I gave Rob his boxed egg and pineapple-flavoured confection on Thursday night when he made that flying visit. Scott got an orange-flavoured version of the same thing and Ange got the strawberry. Brett never wants Easter eggs unless they are solid or filled with flavoured fondant or caramel or such like. He particularly likes Cadbury’s cream eggs so he got one of those and a packet of solid eggs from this Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny was given a chocolate Easter bunny from Scott and Ange – Red Tulip too.

Fairhill Native Plant Nursery – Yandina

I drove up to Yandina to visit the native nursery looking for a variety of Grevilleas to choose from. Rob drove down from Tewantin and met me there. We ended up becoming more fascinated with the wild food plants than anything else. Rob ended up with a Davidson’s Plum which can be successfully grown indoors, and an Aniseed Tree. Wonderful to eat the leaves…just like aniseed rings or black jelly beans. I took home a Cape Plum that is both bird attracting and butterfly attracting as well as being a dense windbreak for the Southerlies on my back fence (I think). It gets heaps of red new growth, and the berries are edible and sweet. I have no idea what the flowers look like yet…except that they are going to be small fluffy and cream coloured. Everything in one plant it seems…..even suitable for tubs. The really cool thing about this 3X2m bushy shrub is that it is the major food source for the Australian Rustic Butterfly and I had accidentally brought home a pupa…..the likes of which I have never seen before. The pupa itself looks like a grub attached to the leaf at the back end, head hanging down and the really pretty part is the silver markings that look like liquid mercury, often topped with a black dot and a black hair. I’ll keep it in a jar. I looked up my butterfly book and this is a butterfly common up north, Cairns, Thursday island etc and was first named in Cooktown when the Endeavour was beached there by Banks and Solander in 1775. It was also known as Governor’s plum. If it will hatch in my jar, I will let it go to lay eggs on my new tree I guess.

Here is Fairhill’s Bush tucker page for Rob.

I have another blog

Metaphysical Winsights is the name of my other blog. This is a public blog but it has not been advertised in a search engine [yet]. I have not edited the blogger template to include the appropriate meta tags. I am trying to find a way to interest people enough to make a reasonable number of hits on my site so that I can try to make some money from affiliate advertising like half the rest of the web community does. Including Rob. Metaphysical Winsights may not be something that attracts enough visitors and it is difficult to get into affiliate programs while your site attracts few visitors. But it is a job that one can do from home like getting paid to fill in online forms and read email. Like everything else that has the potential to make money, time must be invested. I am not sure whether I am willing to devote that sort of time to sitting at a computer particularly when I am well and wanting to be more active. I am just getting some idea of the time it takes to update web material daily….. this blog is an example. It is fairly time-consuming stuff. The reward may not be worth it especially when it ceases to be a novelty but if I lose my tutoring next year, I guess it may be all I can do for myself in the short term. I am not driven by financial need while I have my job and both boys paying me rent. But I can always use some extra pocket money and paddling around in cyberspace helps to keep me in touch with technical advances.

Mr Rec Fisher is now a disability Pensioner

It is very good news…at last. Much better than Newstart for old farts [joke].

I must be old, because I know the answers to at least half of this trivia quiz for oldies. I found it in the fibromyalgia newsgroup

THE ODDBALL WALL - Baby Boomer Trivia

Let's see how tuned in you are to the baby boomer generation.

1. Which TV show made, "Sock it to me!" a famous expression?
a. Sonny and Cher b. The Smothers Brothers c. Laugh In (Deb knows)

2. Which TV show used the tag line, "And now for something
completely different."
a. The Mod Squad b. Monty Python c. Hee Haw

3. Who made this line famous: Don't trust anyone over 30.
a. Abbie Hoffman b. Bob Dylan c. Andy Warhol

4. Who was the miner who stood six foot six and weighed 245?
a. Paul Bunyan b. Big John c. Big Bad Leroy Brown

5. Who sang the song, A Boy Named Sue?
a. Arlo Guthrie b. Ray Stevens c. Johnny Cash

6. On what show did the Beatles make their American debut?
a. Ed Sullivan b. American Bandstand c. Battle of the
Bands

7. She wore an itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny ________?
a. veil just like a magic genie b. yellow propeller on
her beanie
c. yellow polka dot bikini

8. Superman fought for truth, justice, and ________?
a. the American Way b. honor c. the triumph of good
over evil.

9. The Brylcreem slogan was...
a. Like drinking love from a bottle! b. A little dab’ll
do ya!
c. No more warts, sports!

What’s in a name?

And I just found here that one of the risk factors in developing Crohn’s disease is a Jewish ancestry. I thought it rather strange that my full Christian name means Jewish Lady.

A pie that has heart foundation approval?

I did not know that you could get meat pies with the heart foundation tick. But I found a Pampas Shepherd Pie. The pastry and the instant potato were terrible. It looked much better than it tasted on Wednesday night.

Good Friday

Yesterday was another day of feeling good for 3 hours but today I have not felt weird at all because I have done whatever I wanted and I have only wanted to do stuff that is not energy consuming. I need a few more days like this of being totally stress-free. It is a bit boring though. Nevertheless, not having to pay the price of an outing has put me in a better mood and more capable of facing the morrow. I slept in late, and sat around on the computer almost all day. I am still installing stuff after my hard drive format over a month ago.

Brett has been home most of the time doing the same sort of thing on his computer. Scott has been out with Ange and is partying tonight at his friends’ place. Two nights in a row for him. Last night it was the pub with the boys. He loves not having to go to work because he does not like going to work day in and day out doing something that takes him away from Ange…but they have sorted out one money-related problem already because he is earning more now.

Brett and I had nice bream for tea thanks to Rob bringing down fish during a flying visit to Caloundra with his son Rob last night. I don’t really know why he really came down because he combines so many things into one trip that it is usually multi-purposed.

Yesterday, I had a facial, eyebrow wax and lash tint and I have decided that it was not worth the money I paid. I am getting old obviously because I was told that many ladies my age need upper lip waxing. I might do that next week. I am trying to look younger for my birthday I suppose because I really do not want to be a year older before this month is over.

Recovery Day

I spent a lot of the day in bed today. I knew Brenda was going to be at Sunland Shopping Centre at 2pm so I made the effort to meet her there. I said hi to her but I was too unwell to hang around and browse. I had some groceries to get. Sharon was there too with John’s daughter. Brenda therefore had company while she was waiting for her car to be fitted with tyres.

To Rob, I hope you are much better now. Keep up the fishing. And I hope you can understand that I am doing what I need to be doing.

To Deb, I deleted you from the blog and then reinvited you. I hope it works. Mum does not seem to think I should even be doing this. It may reveal a pretty horrible life as she says but I don’t expect to always be miserable. Let me know if the new design slows down your computer too much. It plays havoc with my resources but it is a bit of fun.

I think I have found a suitably priced man (you know what I mean) to mow the lawn…if I can get my neighbour to agree to getting hers done at the same time. The other guy cannot do it any more and I doubt if I will find anyone to do if for only $10 any more. His quote was far better than the last one I got.

This is the Carphalea I was talking about being in flower.

Here are a couple of snaps of Scott at Moffat Beach (if this works).  We went there on Sunday for fish and chips while Ange planted strawberries.

I tried to post on Sunday but the connection timed out.  I placed a link to Rob's fishing log. 

It has been difficult for me to do much on the Net lately because my
connection is shared with Brett's computer and at night time it is even more
degraded with extra traffic.

Monday, I had three good hours doing housework before I felt yuk again so
I must be on the improve physically.

Today, was a long day at work.  I had to attend an 8am lecture before my
tutorials.  Brett did not work for Odi yesterday because he has had another roster change.  He is working on Thursdays again.  He wants two full days off per week and giving one of those days to Odi is not going to
happen.

Hi Judy,
Tired to post to the fishlog but it didn't work apparently. Nothing has come up on the fishlog page.
Hope you are feeling better today and looking forward to talking with you at some time today. Phoned earlier but went straight to message bank and tired mobile but it is switched off.
Ok will see if this works now.

I don’t feel like blogging tonight. Otherwise everyone will know how I really feel and it isn’t good.

Yesterday

I had an appointment at Shepherd Hearing yesterday…a follow-up on my Government Hearing Aids. I have not worn them much because the right one in particular has been giving me an earache. Yesterday’s appointment was spent shaving off bits of the devices for the sake of comfort. It is guesswork because I am not good at identifying where the minute spot of rubbing against my ear canal is occurring. I paid the yearly maintenance fee so that I can go back whenever I need more adjustments or more batteries.

I came home dizzy again. Later, Brett and I went up to Buddina to Harvey Norman. Brett bought an add-on for his flight simulator. He is now learning to captain a 747.

In the meantime, Scott was sent home from work because he had been vomiting. By the time we had got back home, he was gone…off partying with Ange somewhere. He came home after tea and went straight to bed…drunk.

Rob was still unable to do much without paying the price in chest pains. He has been wanting to attend to his boat so that he could take a mate out fishing. But it had to wait another day.

Today

Brett will be going to work both today and tomorrow after lunch and Scott is at home still feeling nauseous and gurgly. I am grateful that today has nothing specific planned because my body and mind is still feeling exhausted. We seem to be a miserable bunch at the moment but it will pass.

I am looking forward to having enough energy to just clean up the house and garden. The camellia that Mum bought me last year is flowering and so too is the Carphalea (Flaming Beauty) that I bought about a month ago. But the weeds have got a good hold in places and the neglect is pretty obvious now. But there are some nice additions to the garden that are growing quite well. Brian, next door gave me a couple of “snowflakes” and a “Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow”. They are safely in the ground. I have a yellow Ixora in the NE corner and it should be very effective in brightening up that spot when it grows. Rob has given me two birdbaths. They match. One is just a little bowl mounted over a statue of a boy. The other is a more classic birdbath style. They are painted concrete I think. Heavy. Sadly, at the moment, they are lined with green sludge. I even have a Feijoa (Pineapple Guava) waiting to go in the ground that I got at the market a couple of weeks ago. A black passionfruit is also making its way up to the trellis that borders the Western fence. It will share space with Brian’s choko vine. There are chokos nearly ready for eating on it now. The rhubarb and leeks that I planted last year have never done well because there is not enough sun in that spot.

This dull damp day is probably just right for pottering around the house, napping and generally going my own pace so that is what I plan to do.

Scott and Ange have plans for tea but I guess Brett will not be going clubbing again or staying at Nick’s because he has work the next day. It means that having Friday nights to myself are a thing of the past. Perhaps I should go out with Brenda if I can muster the energy.

Recovery Day

I do not feel well enough to write much. I got one refund from Hypermax finally.

Today was what I call my recovery day when I demand very little from myself. Wednesday is my recovery day every week. I try not to schedule anything for Wednesday. But there are usually some small demands…like milk or bread or dishes.

Brett worked today from 1pm till 6.30pm and then disappeared into his room. Scott went out with Ange for tea after work and came home for the Simpson’s hour but has fallen asleep on the lounge in front of the telly.

Rob is still having chest pains if he does anything physical.

One of Those Days
I should be happy because I have finished my marking. But I am not. I had some marking and record keeping to do at work and spent more time discussing some work-related issues with Sherrill so it was a long day and I came home and tried to have a sleep. Later, Brett told me that he had a message on message bank from someone about the Hypermax mix-up. It was after hours by then but telephone banking has now revealed that all is not well and now my account is overdrawn and the Contents Insurance has not even gone through. I guess the rent is more important, and it went through leaving the overdrawn amount. Now I expect automatic dishonour fees from my credit union…which I will be hitting Hypermax for. Transaction history reveals no credits from Hypermax in the past two days despite the fact that I had those phone calls that said everything was in place for a complete reversal. I even said thankyou. I really thought that they could not possibly stuff up a reversal twice but they have. Another day on the phone tomorrow I can see. If I had not been at work today, I would have been on top of it.

I am really tired, dizzy and trying to fight off this virus thingy that Brett is still suffering from. I think Brett is going to give ODI a day next Tuesday at the new fruit shop but it may not be worth the effort because he cannot claim the tax-free threshold twice. Brett did not go to work with Roger because he was feeling too sick himself.

Scott is always worn out after work and goes to bed before I can get many details out of him but I think his boss is happy with him. He seems to have trouble putting in a full day’s work and having some spare energy left over in the day to enjoy. He reminds me of me and I feel sorry for him. He may have spent some time with Roger today after work but I have not been told about it (yet). All I know that Roger told him and Ange that he would get a unit in his name for them to live in because he wants a place to stay when he is working down this way. But at the same time, he is also saying that he cannot afford it just yet.

I am having trouble getting on the Net again and my CD-burner is not reading my PCUSER magazine disks which I have been trying to have some fun with but I am only getting totally annoyed at everything spinning, blue screens of death and rebooting. I hate working with obsolete computers when I have to make them do jobs beyond their capability. I think the CD-burner uses up too many resources even just trying to read a disk let alone burning one. Everything is so time-consuming when it does not work first time.

When I can’t get on the Net, I cannot talk to Rob because I cannot get him on the telephone. The new wide-area 25c calls are a great saving for us because before we were paying STD (community call timed) rates. It means sacrificing Neighbourhood call rates but that does not effect me much because the only other number I ring in the Golden Beach exchange is the doctor’s surgery. I wonder if wide area calls are available between Mum and Debbie.

The mobile phone rang this evening and when I went to answer it, the screen just died. I had it on the charger up until going to work today. The only reason I really need a mobile phone is to have a means of contact if I break down in the car on the highway and, I guess now that it is not even lasting a full day, it is no longer providing much security. Cripes, it is only just a year old

Sneezes, trots and fluid retention
Waking up this morning to all the above is a depressing way to start the day. Add some fluey aches to the complaints list and the task of having to mark again and prepare a lesson for tomorrow looks like a monumental task for the day. I took a second VIOXX last night for my back and am now wondering if the evening dose is the cause of more fluid retention than a morning dose. I did not take a VIOXX the night before and yesterday my rings were loose on my fingers. By last night I had to move one along to the next finger to avoid losing it. This morning, I could not get it off! My nose is stinging and I have these run of sneezing but I’ve had heaps of vit C, Echinacea, garlic, zinc and cod liver oil.

Brenda
I wonder what Brenda is up to? I have not spoken to her on the phone for over a week and hope that she is coping OK with her ills (arthritis) and perhaps loneliness. She says Dennis does not provide her with that much conversation because he spends a lot of time away fishing or in his room. I am thinking of her but I don’t seem to have the time to fit her into my life lately. I have the same problem fitting Rob in at times too but he is more demanding (like the kids are) than Brenda. Those with a voice usually get slotted into my life more than those without. But it is just as well that people let me get on with what I am trying to cope with for the time being. I’ll get to Brenda eventually.

Rob
He is having a bad run with chest pains, there one day and not there the next. It has been nearly two weeks of unreliable energy levels for him. Fluctuating health is the greatest destroyer of goals and plans that I know. For Rob, it has meant postponing some paid work that he was counting on. The disturbing thing is that we “sick” people are always looking for the reasons for our flare-ups when there are not always any obvious reasons. This is frustrating because it is hard to know what to do “right” by your self. I think sometimes it can boil down to what was dreamed of at night time…things deeply unconscious. Sometimes it is something inhaled or ingested that made the next day worse than the previous. Sometimes doing too little is worse than not doing enough. Other times, doing too much can wipe you out for an entire week. But we want to know the one culprit out of the hundreds of things we are exposed to in any, one, day. It is an impossible ask so we are continually frustrated. And yes, Rob, I agree, it is probably even more frustrating when people like me suggest why you may be feeling worse today than yesterday when they would not have a clue what your body, heart or mind is dealing with in any one day. When you have decided for me why I am having a bad run, I definitely resent it. I can only assume that you would feel the same way.

There is not enough time in this day
It is after 8pm now and I still have lessons to familiarise myself with, bins still out on the kerb and clothes still sitting in the washing machine. I just had to have a sleep this afternoon so I lost time there. Also had to go out and get some toilet paper etc but I was back within the half hour. I did not have time to talk to Rob on the phone more than once today. He seemed to resent it. I think that sux. I have not even made my lunch for work yet. Scott dealt with tea for me after I got everything started but the dishes are also waiting…till tomorrow evening I guess. I will be late at work tomorrow.
Now I can’t get on the Net
It is after 9pm and I am now ready to get on the Net…check tutorial sheet links etc and the phone is unable to connect. Ozforces is getting too busy too fast. I hope they upgrade their Maroochydore POP as it grows. I’ll complain if I have to. Roger has just rung while the phone is off the hook and he is talking to Brett about working with him tomorrow. If I get on the Net, I think I will forget the lessons and just take tomorrow’s tutorials as they come. I need to check my bank statement about this Hypermax stuff. Actually I think it is line congestion rather than Ozforces. It may be a Telstra problem.

Brett lost another day’s work
Brett does not have work tomorrow…Tuesday’s off again. And Thursdays and Sundays? He does not seem keen to go and speak to ODI for some reason. He may have gone to see ODI tomorrow had Roger not rung to invite him to work with him at a car yard here in Caloundra. That is not a bad thing though…..except that I have to drop Brett off on my way to work (if he goes). But with Brett home more often and not having to work in the morning, he is staying up much later. And now that Scott is sleeping in Brett’s room and going to bed early and rising early, Brett is spending more time out in the main part of the house if he cannot or does not want to use the Net. He was watching television out here. That can be a good thing and that can be a bad thing. Now Brett says he will go see ODI instead of going with Roger. Who cares?

It is so late now that although the Net finally connected, I am too tired to do anything except post this blog.

Marking Assignments
As the US penetrates close to the core of Bagdad, I continue to mark assignments. I made much better inroads today and am confident that I will finish the bundle that I have at home here tomorrow. There may be some late assignments handed in by students who have applied for extensions due to unforseen circumstances. I will deal with those at work on Tuesday if any.

Crohn’s Disease or is it Brett’s virus?
I am even less healthy today than yesterday. Gut pains this morning and much associated energy loss. I felt drained of life. As the gut improved during the day, so did my energy levels but all-over bodily aches and pains began to plague me later in the day. Brett came home with his cold all freshened up. He stayed the night at Nick’s place last night after leaving Roger to his other children and whatever he did between then and now seems to have made him worse with this cold that has hung on for a couple of weeks. He was sent home from work at Pelican Waters for two days because they did not want him sniffing all over the fruit. It was more usual for Brett to be accused of faking illness when he stayed at home sick so this time the tables had turned. Brett did not even feel that bad back then. Certainly he did not feel as bad as he sounded to them. It seems that one must sound sick before people even notice that you are not well. Noticing that someone is looking ill is something that most people do not do until the sick person is having a major problem maintaining normal mobility. Unless offcourse it is a cold that causes the red nose and the drip, or the flush of a fever. But who can see Lupus for instance before it becomes a life changing event?

Bin Night
I had a break from marking when I had a late sunbake outside on the banana lounge in the nude, when I did more washing, after tea when I watched TV and when I went to the market this morning for a short time. I also had to clean up the kitchen enough at least to fill the bins in readiness for the collection. There was junk mail everywhere for the recycle bin, Old Crow Bourbon cans from Scott and Ange to rinse and remove and a few things in the fridge that needed turfing out. It is still I who takes the bins out. I have asked the boys on occasion and if the did not forget they would probably get around to doing it…but they forget before they even get up out of the chair. Scott is much more likely to remember than Brett nowadays but I still have to ask.

This and That
Today has been another fairly unproductive day marking-wise. I am chipping away at it…but I am not exactly performing at a professional speed. I’m generally tired but also a bit bored with it all. I got some washing done…the new sheets I bought at the 25% off day at K-Mart last week but now it is raining again. I cannot remember having a continuous week of fine weather for ages. I am sure that is why my back has been playing up so much. There is a real nip in the air in the evenings even though the temperature inside this house is still suiting short sleeves.

I have had heaps of phone calls since five o’clock. Nick looking for Brett, another Nick looking for Scott, Brett ringing from Roger’s phone wondering if Nick was looking for him, Rob ringing for me and Debbie ringing for me on her new mini mobile phone. It is not usual for heaps of phone calls to even get through because the line is usually tied up to the Net. When broadband is affordable for us, it will be good to have a free phone line once again.

Roger is in town
Some person that both the kids and Roger know, is getting married in Caloundra because the woman’s parents live here. Consequently Roger, Marlene, Zachary, Brenton, Billy and maybe Bianca are very close by tonight at the Gemini Resort in Golden Beach. Scott has been over there since about lunch time but when Brett finished work, they picked him up, and then, Brenton, Billy, Scott, and Brett rocked in here. Brett was told to get dressed up because they may be going out for tea. 20 minutes later, they were all gone again.

Opportunities in Fruit
The Golden Beach Fruit Shop is under new management and guess who bought the place…Odi. This guy used to run the convenience shop at Currimundi that Brett and Kaelym used to frequent. Odi knew all the young ones. He somehow ended up out of business and working for Frank for a time at Pelican Waters. He knows how good Brett is to work with. Today, he recognised me as Brett’s Mum and asked if I would ask Brett to work for him on at least Tuesday, which he thought, was Brett’s day off. That is the day he wants help unloading when he gets back from the markets. Also Friday. But now that Brett’s roster has changed, he has not got those days off at all. Odi has only been in the fruit business for a grand total of three days. Given all the hassles Brett has had with his bosses, he may or may not consider a change a good idea. The potential for more or even alternative work is there anyway. But Brett’s heart is set on working with computerised car gadgets with his Dad. I hope for the boys’ sakes, that Roger is successful. As usual, Roger is sounding very positive and optimistic about it all and is nearly ready to invest in some other expensive gadget that does all the work for you.

A tasty Diet
Rob’s friend Greg has a girlfriend who swears by seafood extender as a way to lose weight. No fat. All you have to do is eat it for breakfast, lunch and tea. It is really just fish with crab flavour. Yeah I know, there is usually sugar added but still there is no fat. She says it works for her. Some people swear by SubWay Subs (rolls).

I’m not feeling very positive tonight
Here I am again. I write when I am in need of expressing myself to someone and where I can assume that the reader has an automatic empathy with my soul. Usually the reader is I because usually I write and read my thoughts in a “private” journal. I can definitely understand what I have written but sometimes I read things from the past that I do not now agree with. I am not sure whether anyone invited here even wants to understand me that deeply…for to do that means that I may no longer conform to the image that you currently have of me.

But I want to write again today because I need to talk it out. And my site guests can like it or lump it. I wonder which of my site guests actually read this.

I don’t know why I am so blue but it has something to do with Rob tonight. I’ve been feeling miserable since his phonecall. Prior to that on ICQ, he had been trying to talk me into coming up to this concert he won tickets for. He wanted to take me but forgot to check if the weekend suited before he assumed that I should make the trip up from Caloundra for the “special event”. Does that sound like some kind of manipulation…the carrot so to speak? I have to have 40 Powerpoint assignments submitted on floppy disk marked before Wednesday next week. I told Rob last week that I would probably still be marking on the weekend. There was some chance that if I got stuck into the marking straight after work on Tuesday, and kept at it most of my waking hours for the next few days in between appointments, then I could maybe be finished by Saturday. It would have also meant that no housework would get done until next Monday, which is also the day that I must work on my lesson.

I was not too keen to put myself through this pace given my health and stress level which had heightened because of Rob spending more than the agreed upon weekend time with me last week. My computer was used to buy jewellery on e-bay more than it was used for marking assignments. Even getting presents from Rob is stressful to me…but he does not understand that. I wish one of my readers could understand that I feel like I am being held to ransom at times. More stress came in the form of Rob’s health problems. He was sick with chest pains and worry about them. So…I was worried about holding him to his weekend agreement when he obviously wanted to stay in Caloundra with me and Scott and Brett. He knew that I did not really want him to be here and that I was giving in to pressure from my own guilt complex if not the one he “accidentally” dumps on me when he is having angina. I even feel guilty about the way I look after myself and my health problems when he has something far worse than Crohn’s disease or Fibromyalgia or Arthritis. Keeping stress to a minimum is a self-nurturing strategy but that is impossible when needier people are around. The neediest person gets what they want when my guilt over not putting myself out to meet their neediness gets too much for me to bear. So most of the people around me are a pretty needy bunch. That includes my kids. They all have the effect of making me feel guilty because their immediate and acute needs are so much more important than my chronic smouldering needs.

I also noticed that when we were doing what Rob and I had both agreed to, both of us were happier and healthier. We had a nice enough weekend. No doubt Rob picked up on my mood when I realised that my plans for the rest of the week were not going to happen. He just got sicker. I just got angrier at the choices he made that seemed to be contributing to his ill health. Now that he is home and away from me he has improved remarkably. He went out to dinner last night when back in Tewantin and is going to go to the concert tomorrow night as planned. I can chip away at my assignment marking which I do a couple of hours at a time…at my own pace. I am not feeling very well though. Drained again by other people’s neediness. Not enough energy to mark efficiently I am finding. I am very, very slow and distracted. It is just as well that I have the weekend to get the marking done because I am going to need all the productive time I can get.

Monday has already got some tasks assigned and Tuesday is the day that I will be on campus working. I would like to return the assignments via Andrea for moderation by Tony on Tuesday even if I have to stay back at work. I certainly do not want to have to make a second trip out to the University on Wednesday.

Brett did the dishes today
I had a nice surprise when I got up this morning. The collection of dishes had been washed and the all the benches were wiped clean. Brett can be very thoughtful. I accidentally slept in because of my late night last night……. blogging away. Consequently I was running very late for my doctors’ appointment this morning. It was wonderful to know that I would be coming back home to a clean kitchen.

Who stole $1200 from my VISA card?
Who can concentrate on marking assignments on floppy disk, when my finances are in turmoil courtesy Hypermax Pty Ltd. I thought yesterday had solved all these problems and today would be a day of everything has fallen back into place. No such luck. Brett wanted to try out OzForces for an ISP but I did not want to relinquish my long-standing account with Hypermax in too much of a hurry just in case Brett changed his mind about its suitability for gaming in particular. At the same time, I could not afford to pay for two ISPs. So on Friday the 28th March, I rang them and asked to be switched to the cheapest monthly service they had for the month of April onward until further advised. $5.50 for 3 hours. Certainly not a good rate but better than paying $29.95 for unlimited access that was not going to be used because we are accessing Ozforces now. I expected my account to be deducted the $5.50 on the 1st or 2nd of April but instead found that my available balance had been reduced by $600 dollars. The credit union could not do anything to stop the transaction from continuing so I had to get the ball rolling with Hypermax on a refund. Once they explained how I got billed for 240 hours of use at some disgusting hourly rate, they promised me a refund and even gave me a refund receipt number (in case something went wrong I had something to quote). That took two phone calls to sort out. In the meantime, the Credit Union also stuffed up by cancelling my insurance policy instead of upgrading it to an accidental coverage of my contents that they had talked me into for an extra $30 annual premium. I got that sorted out but it would not be deducted for a day or so.

Today, I nearly freaked out when I found that my account no longer has enough available funds to even pay for the insurance policy. Hypermax has put a reserve on yet another $600 plus VISA transaction and actually allowed the first $600 to go through despite the promises of a refund. So now my VISA is being asked to provide them with $1200.00 instead of $5.50 for a month of Internet access. Oh sure, they will take care of it…I heard that one yesterday. I remain on high alert until I can see the transactions rectified and get confirmation from the QTCU that my Insurance has also gone through without hitch and dishonour fees or cancellations of policy. I am expecting a phone call from Hypermax at any time. Freaking out about having absolutely no money in the bank should not be associated with giggling but that is what I was doing on the phone. It is such a joke that these things can happen and if I don’t laugh about it…I will cry.

Osteoarthritis, spondylosis and sclerosis
Today was also they day I took my x-rays to Dr Johanna English for comment. Nothing much new came of that….take up to two VIOXX 12.5mg per day, use a heated wheat bag across my lower back at night, have hot baths, and do some simple back exercises. Do not sit in cold wading pools. Add Paracetamol to the regime on an extra bad day but on the days I need to use Ponstan, stop the VIOXX to protect my gut. I have taken both on some days and I find it less gut burning than Feldene alone or to a lesser extent Naprosyn at least while I maintain my Losec. I will try not to take both by using the glucosamine, which she approves of.

Brett has a new schedule so life makes another change in dynamics
Scott has been working as an upholsterer’s assistant and will gradually be shown the trade. He works between 7:30 am and 3pm Monday to Friday, so I do not generally get to see him till the late afternoon. Brett was working from 7am to 1pm Monday to Friday at Pelican Waters Fresh Fruit. Now, he has been sent up to the Caloundra Village Shop where once he had a respected position. Now he sees the change as some form of punishment because of the atmosphere and the stress generated by these highly strung business persons who seem to be very quick to think the worst of people. They profess to be Christians.

Anyway, now Brett is working from 12 to 6pm and has a whole day home on Thursday as well as the weekend. That means even less hours than he had before. Now, that means that I have the house to myself between 12 and 3pm Monday, Wednesday and Friday unless Rob is around, someone is home sick or else I have appointments elsewhere. I work on Tuesdays until about the time Scott finishes and once a month I have a meeting on a Monday in connection with my work.

Rob knew that I had this dream of all three of us (Frizzells) getting up early and going to work on a Tuesday. It somehow meant productivity. Everything is as it should be. It also meant that I did not have to worry about things being neglected while I was not there. It happened for the first and only time this week. Nothing extra was added to the mess in the kitchen while I was at work and there was no opportunity for anyone to let flies in the house because they were too lazy to shut the damned door. Actually Rob was the last person to leave the house that day because he had been staying over too. When Scott was home during the day, it meant that he and often Ange had free reign of the house while not having to abide by my constant oversight. It wasn’t so bad when Brett had Tuesday’s off at home because he just sits at the computer, playstation or TV all day. He does not leave the house on his weekdays off so I do not have to worry about the doors and windows accidentally being left unlocked when no one is at home. Nor the lights and appliances being left on.

Lindsay and Marie I think her name was
I was shopping at Sunland yesterday and because my back was quite sore, I decided to sit and have a coffee at Michael’s Patisserie. I don’t do that very often on my own. I saw Lindsay and his “new” woman so I called out Lindsay’s name and he came over for a chat. We talked about Maries prolapsed uterus, the hassles she has had with her ex, the fact that Kevin his mate does not seem to approve of them being together (she is married to someone else) and their sojourn in both Maleny and Brisbane before finally buying a house to live in at Cooroy. I am not likely to see much of them in Cooroy even though it is only 20 minutes from where Rob lives. Lindsay has never been one of great importance to my life but he was infatuated with Brenda for a time but began to feel uncomfortable about the time he was investing in a relationship where the love was not returned. I wonder why Rob has not given up on me because I do not have as much to give emotionally as he would like either. Maybe Rob does not expect anything better. I am still bound to my kids lives too much and I still like my independence as well as company on about a 50-50 level. Lindsay, in contrast, has found a woman who wants to look after him…in lots and lots of little ways and he satisfies her in bed to boot which is something her ex did not do apparently. He sounded very proud of himself. It is a little more complicated now that she is healing from a major op but he is expecting a very active sex life so I am told. Also she says his drinking is not over the top at all. He gave me the impression that he was always drunk after dark. She says they have a happy hour every night with cheese and bickies and everything but then that is the end of it. He says she has more life than he even though she is a lot older than he. There is nothing like a new relationship to bring back those “kiddie” feelings and that resultant boost in energy levels but….it doesn’t last if you are already being plagued with restrictions on physical activity through aging bodies. And what about the stress…Lindsay looked like he was drawn and thin. They were on their way to pick up their trailer from the front of Brenda’s place next.

Anyway hi to whoever has decided to visit or contribute.

My news for the day is that I have been slack in doing my marking. I was supposed to be marking tonight but I got sidetracked by the concepts of weblogs and decided to set one up. It is too late to do much more now but all in all it has been a reasonable day.

I am not feeling too bad considering it is that time of the month...except for my back which is still killing me. I will find out what the x-rays mean about spondylosis and sclerosis when I go to the doc tomorrow but I am already taking VIOXX so I guess I can't really hope for much more relief that I already have when I sneak in something else besides that tablet...because it does not work well enough to make me pain free in this weather. It has got chilly tonight in the air even though the house is warm enough for short sleeves and long pants. I need the long pants to cover my aching knees and the top definately has my lower back covered too. That nip in the air even though the rest of me is quite warm, gets in those places and the aching and stiffness gets worse as soon as it is even slightly chilled. It is hard to believe that I am so arthritic at the ripe old age of 47. My birthday coming up is nothing to cheer me up at all. Just another year to add to my health woes. It is really quite scarey. I think Brenda is going through the same thing. The joys of losing 1 decibel per year in my higher frequency hearing is not good news either. I already miss out on more than I realise until I put my hearing aids in. Hearing aids at 47? Bifocals at 47 too. It has been one of those years for me that makes it difficult to face the future with any great enthusiasm. But I have tried to keep going despite the Crohn's flareups, bloating, dizzy spells, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I have indeed managed to at least make a substantial inroad to having some greenery, colour and produce which is transforming my yard into a pleasant place to spend [my retirement]. The wading pool was my salvation through those days when I did not think I could bear the heat so even though I may have not felt the greatest healthwise for some time, I have been consoled by at least enjoying some aspects of my life. I can feel like lady of leisure while I am too fatigued out or too dizzy to deal with the outside world simply by sitting in the pool with a cool drink in hand. So despite some of my dreams fading away with illhealth, I can pretend I am a queen who deserves to have the best things in her life. Sea Food salad sandwiches also makes me feel like a queen when life seems to be trying to give me the message that I am a disability pensioner. And when financial reality hits home, having creamed smoked cod roe in the fridge and a packet of water crackers can give a girl some respect. I don't need diamonds when creamed cod roe or a new outfit from Fashion Fair does the trick.

Hi there,

Wonder if this is a good thing to be doing. It is probably easier than email.