Monday, April 07, 2003

Sneezes, trots and fluid retention
Waking up this morning to all the above is a depressing way to start the day. Add some fluey aches to the complaints list and the task of having to mark again and prepare a lesson for tomorrow looks like a monumental task for the day. I took a second VIOXX last night for my back and am now wondering if the evening dose is the cause of more fluid retention than a morning dose. I did not take a VIOXX the night before and yesterday my rings were loose on my fingers. By last night I had to move one along to the next finger to avoid losing it. This morning, I could not get it off! My nose is stinging and I have these run of sneezing but I’ve had heaps of vit C, Echinacea, garlic, zinc and cod liver oil.

I wonder what Brenda is up to? I have not spoken to her on the phone for over a week and hope that she is coping OK with her ills (arthritis) and perhaps loneliness. She says Dennis does not provide her with that much conversation because he spends a lot of time away fishing or in his room. I am thinking of her but I don’t seem to have the time to fit her into my life lately. I have the same problem fitting Rob in at times too but he is more demanding (like the kids are) than Brenda. Those with a voice usually get slotted into my life more than those without. But it is just as well that people let me get on with what I am trying to cope with for the time being. I’ll get to Brenda eventually.

He is having a bad run with chest pains, there one day and not there the next. It has been nearly two weeks of unreliable energy levels for him. Fluctuating health is the greatest destroyer of goals and plans that I know. For Rob, it has meant postponing some paid work that he was counting on. The disturbing thing is that we “sick” people are always looking for the reasons for our flare-ups when there are not always any obvious reasons. This is frustrating because it is hard to know what to do “right” by your self. I think sometimes it can boil down to what was dreamed of at night time…things deeply unconscious. Sometimes it is something inhaled or ingested that made the next day worse than the previous. Sometimes doing too little is worse than not doing enough. Other times, doing too much can wipe you out for an entire week. But we want to know the one culprit out of the hundreds of things we are exposed to in any, one, day. It is an impossible ask so we are continually frustrated. And yes, Rob, I agree, it is probably even more frustrating when people like me suggest why you may be feeling worse today than yesterday when they would not have a clue what your body, heart or mind is dealing with in any one day. When you have decided for me why I am having a bad run, I definitely resent it. I can only assume that you would feel the same way.

There is not enough time in this day
It is after 8pm now and I still have lessons to familiarise myself with, bins still out on the kerb and clothes still sitting in the washing machine. I just had to have a sleep this afternoon so I lost time there. Also had to go out and get some toilet paper etc but I was back within the half hour. I did not have time to talk to Rob on the phone more than once today. He seemed to resent it. I think that sux. I have not even made my lunch for work yet. Scott dealt with tea for me after I got everything started but the dishes are also waiting…till tomorrow evening I guess. I will be late at work tomorrow.
Now I can’t get on the Net
It is after 9pm and I am now ready to get on the Net…check tutorial sheet links etc and the phone is unable to connect. Ozforces is getting too busy too fast. I hope they upgrade their Maroochydore POP as it grows. I’ll complain if I have to. Roger has just rung while the phone is off the hook and he is talking to Brett about working with him tomorrow. If I get on the Net, I think I will forget the lessons and just take tomorrow’s tutorials as they come. I need to check my bank statement about this Hypermax stuff. Actually I think it is line congestion rather than Ozforces. It may be a Telstra problem.

Brett lost another day’s work
Brett does not have work tomorrow…Tuesday’s off again. And Thursdays and Sundays? He does not seem keen to go and speak to ODI for some reason. He may have gone to see ODI tomorrow had Roger not rung to invite him to work with him at a car yard here in Caloundra. That is not a bad thing though…..except that I have to drop Brett off on my way to work (if he goes). But with Brett home more often and not having to work in the morning, he is staying up much later. And now that Scott is sleeping in Brett’s room and going to bed early and rising early, Brett is spending more time out in the main part of the house if he cannot or does not want to use the Net. He was watching television out here. That can be a good thing and that can be a bad thing. Now Brett says he will go see ODI instead of going with Roger. Who cares?

It is so late now that although the Net finally connected, I am too tired to do anything except post this blog.

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