Thursday, December 09, 2010

What About M.E.?

What About Me? Trailer - USA from Double D Productions on Vimeo.










By the way, her website link is HERE and I do not think treating CFS it is as simple as a stone-age diet but 1 second ago

I think the point of the matter is that Dr Sarah Myhill is "sharing" her knowledge enabling patients to help themselves. It is her spirit and character that I admire and her drawing attention to millions of people suffering is a great service to we, the forgotten ones who have had our potential taken away from us and our characters belittled by the medical system which we know is run by greed and profit rather than concern for the people.

There are a collection of us posting videos(or trying)to each other mainly on the vimeo channel named for the double d movie being made which has led to all sorts of new contacts for me and ME on facebook. I have found my true friends.

In fact it turns out that I used to teach one lady's son at Middle Ridge State School. I remembered the surname. He's 39 now. Brendan Mawhood bless his heart.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Top Brains Tackle Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

03:27 AEST Fri Dec 3 2010

Some of the world's leading researchers in neuroscience and immunology have gathered on the Gold Coast for an international science symposium on the debilitating chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).
It's estimated about a quarter of a million Australians are affected by the illness, which causes dysfunction of the brain and the gastro-intestinal, immune, endocrine and cardiac systems.

The cost to the Australian community is put at close to $380 million a year.

Symposium co-organiser Dr Sonya Marshall-Gradisnik said for the next two days top scientists from around the world will focus on the current state of research into CFS and help set a focus for research in the future.
"The objective is to bring new research ideas and different approaches to explaining and treating this disabling condition," she said.

It's the first conference to pull together scientists involved in CFS research and others who haven't worked closely in the field but whose "incisive minds and research skills" may help in unravelling this perplexing condition.

The symposium at Bond University's Faculty of Health Sciences and Medicine will end on Saturday.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

From Brightwater, Kawana; to Warana; to Vulva

I told you he gave notice but it seems he got his bond back and has moved out of the most advertised real estate community on local TV already.  By now he should have met up with the next co-tenant who I hope is more to his liking.  He phoned first but then ended up coming here to use the Internet and phone before he met up with this new person.  He had conveniently forgotten the Street name this time so I do not know where he is.  He is allowed to move in tonight.

I am seeing a pattern to his house moves in connection with his mobile phones.  He got a new number last week and got another sim card today.  He sure knows how to make a lot of trouble for himself.  Having to change his address on everything is bad enough but the phone number too so that his past contacts lose him and if it were me, I guess I would suspect the worst if he happened to owe money.  You and I both know that this is not a calculated evasion of his responsibility and much more likely to be related to his own personal thoughts about karma, numerology or something more psychotic.  I now have no idea how to contact him because he left me before giving me the number saying that he would phone again later.

It sounds like he has not found a job that at least pays a retainer in the time since he left here.

When he phoned from a public phonebox, at first I thought it was Brett with a cold, they sounded alike but the cold part meant - Brett would have been feeling sorry for himself because he usually is bright enough on the phone.  Anyway, it wasn't Brett feeling down, it was Scott and he sounded normal for him, but if I spoke like that it would be down-in-the dumps for me too - which is another story - except to say that I feel somewhat better today but my glands are still sore and you can add another stupid syndrome to my list too. It all started with laching eggs.

vulvodynia - yet another controversial diagnosis

And here's wonderful interactive diagram of the vulval area Have fun and mouse over the bartholan"s gland text and duct and then imagine the trip to hospital when I had to get a Bartholan's abscess removed - I wonder if that means I am minus a duct now?

Sunday, December 05, 2010

He Has Given Notice Already!

Yesterday was the only day that I have not seen the son who "moved on".  He was here on Friday before picking up C from school for the weekend (to use the Internet) and he was here when I woke up this afternoon after the longest day sleep I have had for ages - 4.5 hours.  As usual, he woke me up and I am still waking up an hour later.  He has gone again now.  I thought he would have been dropping C back but as it turned out Ange (who is now officially engaged to Pauly) picked C up from Brightwater.  I guess he was using the Internet but maybe there was something else.   He was telling me that he has given notice to move out again in two weeks because he feels Brent is wanting him to take his side in dealings with Brents ex-wife and because he won't take sides he thinks Brent is pointing the finger at him somehow and because S is a real estate agent, he thinks that Brent is pointing the finger at him for that too.  So it was S who said that he didn't think it would work out and Brent who said he had to stay for the 2 weeks he already paid and then me who said that I have already sent the paperwork to Housing to take him off this house.  He is looking at another place on the way home. *Sigh*.

As for me, I am just trying to unwind but he keeps coming back.  The heart-rate monitoring is interesting but I cannot do much without going over threshold and now that I am resuming chores more, that means it is over all the time that I am on my feet and sometimes way, way over like the level of having moderate to heavy exercise in the gym.  But the peculiar thing is that if I am standing working/making coffee in the kitchen it goes way over threshold but if I walk slowly with arms hanging, I can bring it back down.  It seems working with my upper body is a no-no which seems to coincide with this migraine I get when I drive roundabouts or hang up washing.  When I am vulnerable, like now, even typing on the computer with my arms in normal typing position puts a strain on my heart....yet I can sit in the same chair with hands in lap and be totally under threshold.  Maybe there is something going on in my neck/shoulders that is not just a chiropractic matter.  Anyway while standing still starts my legs shaking, I certainly won't be doing much so the kitchen bench and anything at a height where I don't have to bend is already collecting a mess.  But it is saving me!  I hated it when S would put everything away - especially the sugar way up on top of the cupboard.  I did love the benches being clear from an aesthetic point of view but for me it is just not practical.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Blood Test Results

Everything else was OK she said except for an elevated CCrap or whatever it said down below in a previous post so now she has ordered:

dsDNA blood test.

Half an hour to go before he leaves with his car load.  Don't sit on the lounge chair though, because he stuck the laminate under there (while he has the mattress) for some firmness before the cushions and it breaks every time you sit on it.  I'm too tired to deal with it.

Addendum:
CRP = C-Reactive Protein = 7

http://www.drkaslow.com/html/c-reactive_protein.html

dsDNA test is for Lupus. Will get it done Monday.
Son Moves Out and More Blackouts

Just had another 3 hour blackout this time.  So the phones and Internet have been out and it is affecting half the shops in Golden Beach including the new supermarket.  It may go out again so I will make this brief.  He was at the beach last night, fell asleep there and came home when it started to rain at about 4am.  The lights were back on by then but they went off before 8am again.

I am absolutely so sick, shaking, wobbly, heart racing, aching, head inside noises so loud I can't hear Scott when he speaks even though I normally can with out aids, and worried because he keeps packing stuff of mine as soon as lie down.  Just little things to him - like my sheets - the newest ones ofcourse.  I know I cannot possibly keep up with his craftiness and I know my cane table is in the car and if I get it back it will be because I remember to ask once again.  He has taken the mattress off the sofa bed because he cannot take the inner spring bed in his car.

I am supposed to go to the doc later and I bet they are behind because they would have been without power too.  Maybe I can lie in a spare doc room to wait????  I am not getting better anyway...yet.  I had to help Flora with no candles and boiling water on gas bottles for me so generally excess activity and excess heart rate.

Goodbye S

Blackout

It is his last night living here except for one thing,  he is not here and it is 3.30am.  We had a blackout which lasted for hours and I have no idea what happened but it was only very local.  During the time in candlelight I thought it was a good time to chat but he did not get the message across that he did not want to talk because the only verbal clue I had was a conversation beginning with "I know what you're doing" said in a very accusatory manner.  So the next ten minutes was spent with him lecturing me about this deliberate assassination of him and my trying to defend myself.  Finally he said that he was looking forward to just sitting there in the peace and quiet so that I realized that he had totally failed to convey that message at the beginning of the conversation.  As soon as I got the message, we did just sit quietly.  In fact he fell asleep. 

An hour or more later he woke up to candlelight.  I gave him a portable light for his bedroom and I found him sitting and examining his face in the mirror and he said "I have to get out of here.  Look what it is doing to my face/forehead.  I am going for a drive".  I have not seen him since.  He cannot be at his new house because he has not even got the key yet and the new arrangements are that he meets Brent tomorrow afternoon after work.

The lights are back on - I woke up to them.  And I can just hear his car pulling in so all is well - I was just about to phone. Phew!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

He is trying to catching up on sleep

It turns out he had not slept more than 3-4 hours a night for 2 months and it is only now that he has lost his job that he is able to sleep a bit better.  I knew I was getting broken sleep because of his early rises but I did not realize it was that bad for him for so long.  8 hours sleep a night would go a long way towards mental stability.  I am surprised how well he is coping actually.  Probably doing a Judy trick and living on adrenaline.

He may not move in tomorrow to a suburb called Brightwater in Kawana because he cannot fit in all he has to do.  That exam he missed from semester 1 is scheduled for tomorrow for one thing and he did not tell me till today.  He also has another appointment before the exam.  Don't know what. 

It seems he needs the single bed too but good riddance 'cos of the number of times Connor pee'd on it.  Yes he still wets the bed and soon he will be 7.  It seems he needs a trailer to move properly (including one of my desks and the TV Uncle Charlie enabled me to buy but I did get another off the curbside cleanup remember so it's OK.  He nearly packed up my DVD player though so I have to be alert but I'm not really well enough to follow him around with the heart monitor beeping madly).
He lost his job but he is moving out Tomorrow

Yes, I have had him at home for a week and a day.  That's how long it has been since he lost his job because he was "not suitable for the position".  I have been very unwell with everything from glands sore to unbearable aches and I want something desperately for the pain and having him home meant more lectures and disturbed sleep.

Having said that, losing his job has not stopped him from organizing this move and looking for jobs.  He has had at least 2 interviews in this last week for similar positions and he has his Centrelink stuff worked out, how much he needs to borrow from me for bond (haha) and what furniture and food he wants to take.  He has also got a food voucher and is packing already.  He has changed his phone number because he doesn't like it and changed his bank so he could get a debit Mastercard so he has been really busy.He also says he cannot wait to get out of this "hell hole" which I think means me and my complaints against him.  I am extremely light and noise intolerant at the moment.  I guess that means I drove him away which I guess at least subconcsiously is what I was trying to do.  I have been very cranky with this latest relapse and today he can hear the results of my new heart monitor which I will post about separately.  He will not be around long enough to hear what happens when I try to take over the things that he has been doing but I guess it will be back to frozen dinners for a while and an ever increasing mess. 

I have notified the Housing Department but it seems there will be no refund because I was not actually 2 weeks in advance like I thought.  I must have forgotten a payment somewhere during a brain-dead phase.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Big Day Out 

I went to see Doc Johanna today to get my referral to the rheumatologist and she has ordered some blood tests too to provide him with information - FBE; ESR; TSH; CRP, Rh factor, CCP antibody, Mg, VitB12/folate, Fe studies, ENA, ANA whatever all of them are.  I had to have a swab too for a suspected "ladies" infection and the only other thing I could fit in was getting some CFS/ME documents onto her computer for her to look at later. (If she bothers).  Mum wanted me to find out what to do about Scott while I was there and I also want a disabled parking sticker but that will have to wait until next Tuesday however she warned me they were much harder to get these days and she is not likely to push it and maybe will not even pursue it at all because she wants to wait until after the rheumatologist.  It annoys me she does not take me seriously enough unless there is something concrete on a specialist report.

It is the first time I have been out for a week and I was lucky enough to find a hairdresser with an appointment while I was at Golden Beach so I am less buffon except that it is also windy today so it is still a little frizzy.  It is the first haircut I have had since just before you came up to visit.

I forgot to tell Mum it is what's left of her money I am using for the specialist appointments.  Ideally I would love to find a sympathetic neurologist and cardiologist too.

S lost his job yesterday - "not suitable for the position".  He arrived at work to find his gear packed up in a box on his desk but he still insists that Sue thinks he has wonderful ideas and thinks he is great and they left on good terms.  S thinks it is mainly that financially the business is struggling but they were only paying him $170 per week for mostly a five day week but sometimes only 4 days.  At one stage he said that someone told them that he went into a bridal shop and was abusive to them but he says he never went into that shop so your guess is as good as mine as to what the problem really was.  I would like to find out and Mum thinks I should contact her but I doubt she will be able to breach confidentiality and I am not good at that sort of thing without suffering considerable stress.  Any stress is relapse material for me.  Flora next door thinks it is lack of eye contact in social situations (like her ex husband) but I could not very well tell her, that he probably does not acknowledge her properly because he does not approve of her family.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Gympie Overnight on 9th November


Another spur of the moment thing thanks to the instant communication provided by Skype.  I did not think the trip would take that much out of me but it did.  Nevertheless it was so nice to see them all and it was good timing because they had just flee-bombed the house (but not the animals).

I met them at the shopping centre with their groceries and drove them home so that saved them a taxi fare and Stacey was quite happy to have the opportunity that night to put $10 though the pokies while they borrowed my car and I babysat for not much more than half an hour.

Getting back to fleas - poor Cohen is covered in bites and the story that will never be forgotten was Sasha's kitten Missy being treated for fleas by Brett only to cause severe epileptic seizures for over 24 hours and costing them 600 in vet fees.  Apparently it is pretty remarkable it survived the fact that Brett had accidentally used dog flea treatment (which had a picture of a cat on the box). So Missy kept her fleas despite the toxin and the vet certainly did not include a free cat flea treatment. It is Stacey's cat, Brett's dog. And the plans are to keep the family of animals together indefinitely including Peanuts the budgie.

I was treated to a very nice smokey flavored BBQ chop.  Yum!

 

While she was shopping, S got Cohen a brand new bubble bath and it was not too difficult to get him into the bath.  He had a toy I had brought up to play with too.  So I took the bath video and sometime later despite all the bubbles you see already, Cohen emptied the entire contents of the bottle into the bath and their budget does not really allow for such wastage.




PS. The man of the house is behaving himself and stable at my place (except he moved the furniture without asking to suit him and I made him move it back today).

Friday, November 05, 2010

Can I borrow your poo?



http://www.the-scientist.com/news/display/57795/

This a really interesting idea - fecal transplants.

Dec 14 Addendum: 

I found this post on a forum:

http://www.drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/Fibromyalgia
and
http://www.drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/Fermentation_in_the_gut_and_CFS#Change_the_bugs_in_the_gut


I have just recently (3 weeks ago) undergone Faecal bacteriotherapy treatment ie use fresh live actively fermenting bugs from another human gut as referred to in the article on "Fermentation in the gut" above. I live in Australia and that is where Prof Thomas Borody is (also referred to in the above article), he runs the Centre for Digestive Diseases in Sydney. I was prepared for the treatment by taking antibiotics then underwent stool infusion daily for two weeks. My health has improved out of sight - I have had cfs for 26 years and I am the healthiest and fittest I have been for well over 15 years.
I do believe my cfs has been caused by an imbalance of gut bacteria from being on antibiotics as a child for 10 years then getting a parasite in my gut whilst in india, and it was 15 yrs before they found I had that parasite. So my gut flora was a mess - mind you it has only taken 15 yrs to work all this out. Maybe this could be your problem, an imbalance of gut bacteria.

I have also recently learnt that some of these bacteria do make nasty toxins and it is these tixons that make us very ill, I believe that is where all the toxins are coming from that cause ie brain fog, pain, depression, blocked methylation, depleted hormones, high levels of mercury etc. etc.


I also underwent Dr Kenny De Meirlier's treatment but I just couldn't get the good bacteria levels up so when I came of the antibiotics (which I felt fantastic whilst taking them) I would go down hill again. Tried his treatment twice but gave up in the end and hence I have now done the stool implant with Prof Borody. This year my health has turned around dramatically doing all these treatments for my gut flora. I walk 30-40 minutes a day now and I couldn't even dawdle 100 metres at the beginning of the year. I am now starting to live a full life again. But I am heavily supplemented and have also been on the Yasko methylation protocol for 15 months. So every little bit has helped get my health back. But I really believe it has all been caused because of the gut bacteria imbalances.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

October so far.

We've had a lot of rain lately or just plain overcast after a few days of half sun.  The holiday makers didn't get as much rain as we are getting now.  I don't mind so much because it was starting to get steamy until this deluge came.  It is just as well I called off the camping for Thursday till now and it is a real pity for all those with tickets to the Caloundra Music Festival.  We have Connor this weekend too but dad has actually been taking him places and tonight they went to see the movie Guardians of Legends: The Owls of Ga Hoole - an animation. 

But I think dad is stressing too much internally after a week of work for the first time in over a year (except for a few days strawberry picking and one day for Men at Work).  He says he is loving it but I can that he was struggling with being organized and tending to get into a panic by Friday and yet I have helped out around here by cooking tea and doing washing.  Today he is well and truly being distracted by his head stuff and he is talking out loud to himself a lot and not hearing me even when I have eye contact.  And I have been getting a lot of arrogant lectures which has nothing to do with his state of mind really, he seems to always think I do things wrong and he is the only one who makes good decisions.  I do resent being advised by my son on how to run my life or how I should be grateful for any man's attention rather than rebel against being owned (or some similar meaning).  Whatever he thinks I am doing wrong is apparently why I have no man in my life but he disapproves of my attitude when I say that I don't want any of the ones I've met thank you.  It is funny how he has changed his tune about Rob.  All of a sudden, after telling him that he wanted him to not come to this house, he is now telling me that I should have been grateful to have him.  Of course this is not just about Rob, Barry or Pat that I have cast aside - I suppose it is about him too, because I have not made it easy for him to take things over - that I am fighting against it constantly.  It is a wearisome battle because he plays hard and refuses to hear another point of view but his own and he goes ahead and does things without my knowledge. 

He really risked alienating Flora next door from me by firstly telling her to keep the dog from pooing in our side of the front yard, and next he told her he wanted her to stop feeding the magpies.  She was a bit upset about the dog thing but luckily she is not holding it against me.  She only stopped feeding the magpies because she was getting a bit worried after the stories of swooping magpies and he was not rude and he explained his reasons for the sake of the magpies.  She is one who knows how embarrassing her own kids behavior can be so she does not hold what he does against me - but I hope he does not tell her the real reason why he won't let Connor play with her grandkids - that her family is beneath him - even I find it very hurtful when he says my life is as low as low and that I am not even at surface level.  Maybe he is turning into being like his father was with abusive attacks on my person.  I was talking to a long-time acquaintance recently who said her schizophrenic husband was super intelligent but extremely verbally abusive and she had to leave and believe me this woman is tough and not easily intimidated and could throw a punch if you got on her wrong side.

Not sure what is happening with the relationship between B and S.  They live as a family but some Facebook stuff between S and a girlfriend suggested she lost another girlfriend because she slept with the father of the girlfriend's kids - but when? And B put up a pic on Facebook that he had photoshopped of her with a "cock" in her mouth and a slogan that is not really glorifying a mother of your child.  But B still follows the rules of the house in relation to bringing home the bacon and looking after the child or going shopping.  And I have never figured out if there was a third option of an affordable place to live, whether he would take it or whether he really would not like to see S completely out of his life or whether he wants simply to be around the child as a father no matter what else.  Obviously he has chosen S over living with his Dad.
B has been merrily engaged with his computer and Internet and we have that in common so we sometimes get into a bit of collaboration which is nice.  He points me in the right direction when he can.  As for the child, apparently he used the potty for the first time - a bit slow at 2 half. 

And me - I'd be fine if I could move my spine without causing headaches which can get really bad.  Hanging out the washing is dangerous with my arms up.  It can have me reaching for the Codeine in no time.  It's been about 2 months but at least I can sleep more frequently now without the pressure of my head/neck against the pillow causing me headaches.  I do not feel flu-like or ill but I have low-level muscular aches at the moment which is a totally different kind of pain than the spine thing.  I have tried some anti-inflammatory for a few days but my gut reflux/burning could not handle them.  Fish oil alone is just not enough.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Remote Desktop for Windows

It has to be enabled on windows before you can even find it - even on an EEEPC.  It can be used to operate your work computer from home if the work computer has a permanent Internet address and it runs one of the professional versions of XP or newer but it is also useful for a home network if you are stuck in bed and want to access something on the "big" computer in the other room.

And because I have put in some additional security, in case I forget I have the antidote to the lockout instruction in case I am locked out of my own computer because of a breach of the security rules put in place.  And I quote : To manually unlock an account you must logon as another administrator user (preferably one without remote desktop access). Then go to Start - Programs - Administrative Tools - Computer Management - Local Users and Groups. Click on the individual user and uncheck the "account is disabled" check box. You may then log on as that user. 

References:
http://www.mobydisk.com/techres/securing_remote_desktop.html

http://www.cryer.co.uk/resources/remote_control/remote_desktop_connection.htm

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Axis Job

He got the job and starts on Monday, listing and selling businesses. http://www.axisbusinessbrokerage.com.au/

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Business Broker?

He is going for an interview for the above position as I speak.  No comment.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

XMRV virus and chronic fatigue syndrome


It started with a US study that suggested a possible cause for chronic fatigue syndrome, namely the XMRV virus. http://sacfs.asn.au/news/2009/10/10_12_xmrv_in_the_news.htm Patients, assuming that an antiviral would soon be developed, began to hope for a cure. For me, because my symptoms are often "flu-like", I could easily identify with the idea that a virus was the causal link, especially an autoimmune related virus. However, there is no longer any reason to pin our hopes on the identification of this virus because since the US study, there have been 3 further studies which have not found significant positive results for XRMV in chronic fatigue syndrome patients:









Thursday, September 16, 2010

Couple go from Down Under to up yonder on Brontë mission - Screen captures from the video

taken from http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/video/Couple-go-from-Down-Under.6324250.jp

Published Date: 27 May 2010
By Andrew Robinson

A COUPLE have travelled thousands of miles from their sheep farm in Australia to see at first hand their connections to a world-famous Yorkshire family.

Davina and John Greenwood, from Melbourne, visited Dewsbury Minster this week where 200 years ago a distant ancestor, the Rev John Buckworth, appointed Patrick Brontë as curate.
Memorial to Rev John Buckworth




[My addition: Davina said that the Rev John Buckworth married Rachael Halliley - so our family connection begat children of a Minister of the church]

Mrs Greenwood is a distant relative of Patrick Brontë's brother William, who lived in Ireland and whose descendants have ended up in the United States, New Zealand, Australia, England and Scotland.


After a short stint at Dewsbury Patrick Brontë moved to Haworth where the rugged Yorkshire landscape inspired his daughters to pen the novels that became literary classics.

Mr Buckworth married the eldest daughter of local mill owner John Halliley, from whom Australian-born John Greenwood gets his middle name, Halliley.

Several generations of Hallileys in Australia can now trace their family tree back to people living in West Yorkshire in the early 1800s and before.

Last year Dewsbury Minster – a parish church in the 1800s – celebrated the 200th anniversary of Patrick Brontë's appointment as curate.

The Greenwoods were helped in their pilgrimage by Brontë enthusiast Imelda Marsden, 64, from Mirfield, who pointed out all the local connections.

As well as the Haworth connection, there are many other places in Yorkshire with links to one or other of the famous sisters.

Charlotte Brontë's lifelong friend Mary Taylor lived at Red House, Gomersal, which is now a museum.

The Greenwoods also toured the graveyard at Dewsbury Minster, where a number of Mr Greenwood's ancestors are buried, and took in Haworth and the Dales.

Page 1 of 1

* Last Updated: 27 May 2010 10:21 AM
* Source: n/a
* Location: Yorkshire

Monday, September 06, 2010

Crow Mothers Kitten - Amazing

Rainy Day Collection of his Facebook Sayings

July 12 I jumped to conclusions and came to this.

Correlation: Is the belief of a social etiquette being of particular popularity attaining a spectrum of public interest being placed into a formulated value.

Not sure whether I'm right or not, or ever will know.
...
But now I think im up to the bit of how they killed and then T rammed Levern and Shirly.

Don’t sweat it. I’m seeing both sides of the plot.

Say What!

July 15 Don' know what's worse that or clay pigons ;)

July 21 Ever seen a crowd of Women holding there fist's in the air screaming " I 'am the greatest " ----

July 28 Haven't I had a Barry Crocker!!

May 10 Stuff this 27 years trying to kill somethin, then beat the livin piss out of it for gettin a lil sic. hears to being 30.

If I delete my soul goes to myspace any way!! or so it is written.

 

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Skyping Brett and Cohen on Father's Day 2010

Update: He has his own Skype for his mobile now - search for brettfrizzell

Happy Father's Day.  Luckily I found Brett on gmail chat today so finally, finally, finally I found out what Skype account he is using and it is Stacey's.  honky_noodle@hotmail.com so if you add that to your Skype contacts you may be lucky enough to see Cohen online and have a chat like I did today for the first time.
Sasha's kitten (Sasha was once Scott's cat from the Tripcony days)
Brett had my Skype broadcast on bigscreen TV
Hello Nanoo - I just had my head shaved
Video into private houses means seeing nudey rudey
I guess we will see Connor today sometime but lately Scott doesn't think he can offer Connor much and I do not think he spends enough time and effort with him these days. I've got something little for Connor to give Scott if he turns up and Brett got a bottle of Whiskey, a Dad t-shirt and something else from Cohen so he was very fortunate (thanks to Stacey). Scott just got abusive with me simply because I asked him if he wanted to see a photo of Sasha's kitten.  How dare I bring up the past to his mind (deliberately to hurt him - "I know what you are doing" he said - I have no idea what he is talking about).  There is one thing for sure, Scott will not be phoning his father for Father's Day.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Swinburne Exams

I hope today is more successful for S than Tuesday when he drove to the stadium in Brisbane for his exam but did not sit the exam.  He got really mixed up between his diary and computer calendar entry and he had the details for the wrong subject.  He had studied and was prepared for statistics and fronted up to find he was to sit an accounting exam (or was it vice versa?).  Instead of sitting the exam he did not expect he came home.  I guess he was thrown into a spin.  He surely has been unstable in other ways lately.  But it was going to be one of those stressful weeks whether he admitted it or not because he also had his Coast Guard Radio Exam on Monday night.  Also he has had trouble sleeping and he has confronted me again with demands for control over the household here.  It was interesting to see a show on Oprah with Doctor Oz about OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder - and find out that the intense fear and anxiety generated within when one is not in control of the situation is the main cause of suffering.  S (typically) demanded that I turn off the show on TV even after I had headphones on and he could not hear anything.  He cannot bear hearing anything about mental illness.  Anyway the show taught me that fearing germs or repeated outward rituals are not the only signs of OCD.  Ritualistic thoughts/prayers can take place internally for the sufferer in an effort to diffuse a frightening situation.  Also most of these intensely fearful situations are based on irrational thoughts not reality.  One woman had to prepare all her own food because she was convinced she would risk being poisoned if she accepted food from elsewhere.  In therapy she was given something not prepared by her (not under her control) and she was panic stricken because she was being encouraged not to vomit it up.

Maybe this sense of having to take control is what happened with S on Tuesday with his refusal to sit the exam because it was no longer on his terms- not his expectation.  I was out when he came home that day but he had already made arrangements for a stat dec which was necessary for him to be able to resit the exam and, as far as he is concerned, everything is under control again.  He has sorted it out. 

Today he left with confidence for the second exam.  He is happy that he already knows exactly where the building is after the Tuesday debacle.

Tuesday night was not so easy on me though.  He was confronting me as if I was the problem, as usual, and he was yelling out in his room about things that I could not hear and I was really scared he was going to crack and do something.  I don't know what - but when he gets desperate like that, I often get frightened.  Maybe it is because of the past.  The only thing I could do rather than continue with his attempts to bend me into some agreement about letting him take control was to go to bed and I lay in that bed with my heart pumping fast hearing him rave on and hoping he would not come in.  I was really scared until things quietened down.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Balanced Life
http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/features/fibromyalgia-living-balanced-life?src=RSS_PUBLIC

Radiation
http://www.medilexicon.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=198658
My Grandad is on the Internet

http://www.australiansatwar.gov.au/stories/stories_war=W1_id=11.html




When thousands of young men left their homes to take part in World War I, they went with the good wishes of their families for a safe return. Many a father would have taken his son to one side to offer words of advice.

Charles Greenwood of Parkville, Victoria, was moved to write to his son, John Hallily Greenwood, then only 18 years old, who had left to join up and was on board ship bound for the war.

Your Home
31-8-18

My Dear Son,

You will be far away on the waters when you read these lines, and no doubt getting your sea legs, and certainly with all your mates you will not be lonely.

I don't like to lose you My Boy but I am proud that you are going, and hope you will get a chance to punish a few of those barbarian Germans, and hope and trust that you will be spared to come back safe.

You are a boy now Jack, but when I take your hand again you will be a man. Never do anything that you would be ashamed to tell Mother or I.

If you keep that in mind it will be all you want. When you are fully trained in England, and go across to France no doubt you will get many temptations. Wine - Women - and gambling. Shun them all. You are going out to fight for Australia. So always strive to keep a fit man, and do your duty. If at any time you feel lonely and have a few minutes to spare, don't forget how pleased we will always be to get a few lines from you if only scribbled in lead pencil.

You know how the mail service is, sometimes letters do not come to hand. Charlie Jordan got five letters all at once. He wrote wanting to know if they had forgotten him. So if they go astray, don't you begin to think you are forgotten. You can rest assured Jack that we will be thinking of you pretty often.

You remember the shaft you helped me sink up at the Launch. I have great hopes of that gully and if we do have the luck to strike anything in it, you will have a small interest put on one side for you.

If you happen to call in at many ports and have a chance to post a letter I think Rilda will watch the box pretty often on the chance of getting one.

Wishing you My Boy a safe & pleasant voyage to the land of your forefathers and with love from us all,

Father
        Charles Greenwood

John Halliley Greenwood,

to whom this letter was written, survived the war and went on to live to the age of 99. He died on 25 February 1999.



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The Body Shop Activist

The Body Shop Activist

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Garage

My car has been able to fit into the garage for a couple of weeks until yesterday when I dumped everything from the floor of the bedroom in there.  I have no idea how I am going to find homes for those things or how long it will be before I can get the car back in.

I had to take the black glasses back yesterday because the lenses were not sitting in the frames properly and unlike what the receptionist said, they did not have to be sent back and the optometrist did it while I was there.  Computer distance is not worth worrying about because I am happier not to wear glasses while in front of the computer rather than be restricted to looking through less than 20% of the visual area and doing that is not going to damage my vision. Also, here are my other glasses without the transition lenses.

Web cam

Monday, August 23, 2010

BBQ's and Dentist


The mornings have been a case of making sure I'm empty before I can leave the toilet for the day.  I didn't eat yesterday except a few bites before Jan arrived.  She had said to be on standby for a BBQ with her and her son Graham but he was sick and I was not quite game to eat yet.  But I thought the worst was over and I took a chance especially since Jan had already prepared a salad and had marinated the steak and I was starting to get hungry.  We found it difficult to find a BBQ in Happy Valley so we kept on driving and found one up on the headland around Pt. Wickham.  By the time the steak was cooked, the couple had left the nearby table so we were lucky.

This morning and Saturday too was more of the same so that I headed out the door to drive to Noosaville with a dubious tum hoping I would not need a toilet and knowing that I had nothing in me except for a few mouthfuls of yoghurt to sustain me.  I stopped at my usual spot near T-Boat Hire where I don't have to back-in park and headed to the toilet block.  Good timing.  It started to mist rain but it soon stopped and I had time for a cuppa before driving to Simply Dental just around the corner.  I had a filling, my plates filed some more, a scale and clean, fluoride treatment and some sensitive tooth polish.  My teeth are still yellow but the tartar is gone.  Anyway it was the last trip to a private dentist for me for a while.  If those with the balance of power during this hung parliament allow the Allied Health Scheme to continue I guess I will apply for it again but not until next year since it is a two-year scheme for the dental.

Tomorrow the glasses appointment and Wednesday the  3rd Hearing Aid appointment.  Let's hope things get sorted happily with those unlike my still painful plates.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Web is Dead Already

Use of the Internet with apps instead of browsing the WWW is the newest trend with only 40% of Internet traffic being HTML-based web-browsing.  Wired Magazine goes on to say "This was all inevitable. It is the cycle of capitalism. The story of industrial revolutions, after all, is a story of battles over control. A technology is invented, it spreads, a thousand flowers bloom, and then someone finds a way to own it, locking out others. It happens every time."

We are letting this happen despite our recent battles for Internet freedom because it seems we consumers prefer speed over flexibility and we love having things delivered to us rather than us having to seek them out.  Many of the newer Internet applications "are closed, often proprietary, networks" but we are becoming more likely to pay for instant delivery of the kind of content we want - be it news, movies or games - rather than seeking it out for ourselves.  I guess we will soon be paying for applications to do our research for us while we continue to collect our academic degrees.
Saved from a Blowout (see end paragraph)

I got new glasses last weekend.  In fact I got two pair.  The other ones are not as "out there" as these ones but these ones have transition lenses for the sun but the other red metal ones do not.  During the week I noticed that one of the lenses in this pair was popping out and I took them back but I also complained that the computer distance was pretty useless to me even though the reading area is much improved over the old glasses.  I have been in the habit of wearing separate computer glasses anyway which allow me to see the whole screen and the bifocal part below them (the purple unfashionable hospital glasses with top-up) is great for the keyboard but the receptionist insisted I should be able to do better than half to 3/4 of a line being in focus so I have another appointment next Tuesday and will deal with both problems then.  No glasses can beat good eyes and I don't think I will ever be 100% comfortable with multi-focal lenses despite the fact of the convenience of not having to change into another pair of glasses.

I have to go back to the dentist again on Monday in Noosaville and use up the last of the Government allied health subsidy on a filling and a scale and clean and I cannot imagine Dianne being able to get the bottom plate adjusted enough to not cause me any pain.  Last week's filing down has not fixed the pain from chewing and that is what I need the darn things for.  My gums are often sore and even raw in spots even without false teeth and it is not infrequent me pushing away the healthy food on my plate.  It is also hard to eat the nuts and seeds in the flat-belly diet.

On Wednesday I picked up the uDirect that streams sound from any audio output directly into my hearing aids but it has been very disappointing and I phoned up the same day complaining about the quality of sound.  It sounds like a tinny old transistor radio which is fine for voice calls on the mobile phone but totally unacceptable even to my deaf ears for music and what they neglect to tell you is that the lipsync is useless for the television because there is a delay if only small.  The truth of the matter is that in-the-ear buds provide a much better quality of sound.  Nevertheless William really wanted to try and make some adjustments including cutting out the background sound which can still enter because my hearing aids are open to the world and I agreed to give him an appointment to try to improve things which is next Wednesday.  I do not have much faith in his software being able to change the quality of the speakers in my hearing aids and I will guess that I will be returning these as "unsuitable".  Even the device which MUST be worn around the neck to provide the antenna is heavy enough to aggravate the arthritis in my neck.  I can sit it in my bra to relieve some weight but right now I am sore from wearing bras.  Yes, they are still literally a pain to wear especially repeatedly compressing the same areas. 

I just have problems with any pressure and my ears have also been sore because of the hearing aids and glasses have always been a problem.  Add both of them together and it is just a bigger source of aggravation.  I know I sound like a "touchy" person but it seems my body is over-reactive to many things which I put up with until I cannot bear it any more. The thing to remember is that the pain is still real.  My back has been hard to bear all week so I finally have got stuck into some iboprufen (Advil) which is the worst thing I can do for my gut but it is the lesser of two evils that I must decide for what has to be called "quality of life".

What else has happened this week?  Well there is that person who is still pruning the hibiscus out the front until he gets rid of the diseased bits and the other day I caught him pulling the buds off the lemon tree because they were full of minute grubs.  I think that will mean "no lemons" rather than having the option of "sprayed" lemons.  He also called in some housing maintenance without telling me which is actually a good thing except for the fact that he did not tell me.  So far we have had a repaired power-point, the front door-jamming problem corrected and the guttering measured up for replacement should the department accept the quote (and have any surplus funds).  Not having a sheet of water pouring down in front of the door during moderate rainfall would be great.

I found navy rubber backed unhemmed curtain material at the op shop which had the curtain tape on it ready for rings.  It is too short but widthways is fine (without hemming) and since it is brand new it looks OK as an added layer to the window at the front of the house with the string curtains behind it and the lacey ones removed.  The curtain is easy to open and shut like the kitchen window so it will be much better for cutting out the Summer heat too.  Only enough for that one window though.

Today my car got serviced with an oil change and check and the only extra thing I needed to pay for was a new air filter.  That should be it now for another 10,000km so I got off quite lightly.  I found a new auto place that was out to impress so there was a discount and pick-up and delivery which made it all too easy. 

The most interesting part of the report was the tyre pressure.  Three tyres were so overinflated at 45psi that a trip to Hervey Bay could have heated them up enough to blow-out with the three of us in the car.  It seems none of us are meant to die yet.  We know who overinflated the tyres but I should have checked them and I was reminded of the fact today after he ordered "never come and talk to me again after one of 'your' people and you have consulted".  No wonder the road was so bumpy and the fuel consumption so good!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Lest We Forget the Oil
Excerpts Taken from http://motherjones.com/environment/2010/09/bp-ocean-cover-up?page=1


JUST ABOUT THE TIME WE drop anchor off Oahu, and unbeknownst to us, a catastrophe is being unleashed 4,400 miles and five time zones away, in the Gulf of Mexico. A mile below sea level, methane is shooting up the experimental well drilled by the Deepwater Horizon rig, exploding at the well's head, killing 11 workers, and igniting a firestorm. After 36 hours of a raging inferno—and still unknown to any of us—the rig will sink and open a valve to the gargantuan reservoir of the Macondo oil field, estimated to contain perhaps as much as 1 billion barrels, or 42 billion gallons, of crude.
Though it won't be understood for weeks, the Deepwater Horizon is different from any other spill in human history. The extreme technology used to drill at unprecedented depths lacks the extreme safety equipment and protocols needed to stave off disaster. BP, gambling at the border of controllable engineering, has lost spectacularly in its bid to be the deepest and cheapest driller of them all.
And no one is ready for it. Not the Minerals Management Service, catering submissively to BP's laughable Gulf oil-spill "plan," a document featuring wildly inaccurate wildlife assessments (including walruses and other species nonexistent in the Gulf) and an on-call expert who's been dead for years. Not the scientists whose research is paid for by the oil cowboys. Not the environmental groups, who did not foresee the stupendous potential for cataclysm on oil's farthest frontier. Not the media, who almost entirely ignored the sneak preview offered last year by the blowout of the West Atlas rig drilling in the Timor Sea off Australia—a disaster that required five attempts at a relief well and 74 days to stanch. Far offshore, far from sight, far beyond the typical royalty-paying boundaries, BP and its partners have transformed themselves into modern-day pirates, operating beyond law or conscience. Their reckless quest has endangered and perhaps condemned not just the Gulf Coast, but the largest, richest, most pristine, most biologically important, and last completely unprotected ecosystem left on Earth: the deep ocean.
Despite an ever-expanding estimate of the volume of the spill, relatively little oil washes ashore at first, and only a small portion ever will. Instead, trapped in the deep, the oil fouls the ocean's twilight and dark zones: the mesopelagic and the bathypelagic (bathos: deep). After April 20, the dumbwaiter rising through the waters of the Gulf of Mexico will be ascending an ocean fouled with a toxic broth of oil, methane, chemical dispersants, and drilling mud. The relatively small amounts of oil washing ashore, and the relief felt when the surface oil began to dissipate, hardly account for the devastation being wrought in the dark world beyond our sight.

From http://motherjones.com/environment/2010/09/bp-ocean-cover-up?page=2


FROM THE OUTSET, BP has fought to control every aspect of its uncontrollable catastrophe other than the spill itself. It has wildly spun the numbers on the quantity of hemorrhaging oil. It has continued to dispense Corexit—above and below water—when ordered to stop. It has restricted press access with Kafkaesque flair. Unable or unwilling to skim much oil, BP has poured its energies into skimming up all available resources: renting virtually every hotel room on the Louisiana shores, helping to keep the press at bay; buying the silence of scientists with lucrative pay and confidentiality clauses; chartering nearly every boat on the coast and employing virtually every fisherman and captain made jobless by the spill. I find clusters of these men in the marshes and out in the Gulf, their boats tethered together so they can watch movies on the biggest boat's DVD player.
"They have to pay these guys to work or else they'll riot," says Carl Safina, marine conservationist and cofounder of the Blue Ocean Institute. "As it is, they're angry, drinking, griping in the bars. By paying them, BP is deflecting their anger. Plus some of them feel like they're really helping, even though BP's two prime cleanup methods—setting out boom and using dispersant—completely undermine each other."
The containment and absorbent boom that BP is deploying around beaches and marshes—largely ineffectively—is designed to do just that: contain and absorb oil. But the Corexit dispersant BP has flooded onto the leaking wellhead 5,000 feet down, and sprayed from the air onto the surface—some 2 million gallons in total—is designed to break up the oil. "Which one is it?" asks Safina. "Do you want to contain it or disperse it? It makes absolutely no sense to be doing both. Let's face it, with pollution, you count your lucky stars if you have what's called point-source pollution, that is, a single identifiable localized source of pollution, like the Deepwater Horizon. So what's BP doing with that? They're turning it into the worst pollution nightmare of them all: non-point-source pollution."

That's because untreated oil quickly rises to the surface, where it can be skimmed with relative ease. But treated with dispersant, it becomes a submerged plume, unlikely to ever float to the surface, and destined to migrate through underwater currents to the entire Gulf basin and eventually the North Atlantic. "Oil is toxic to most life," says Steiner. "And Corexit is toxic to most life. But the most toxic of all is oil that's been treated with Corexit. Plus, dispersants may well kill the ocean's first line of defense against oil: the natural microbes that break oil down for other microbes to eat." The EPA has never seriously examined Corexit's effects on marine life (see "Bad Breakup"). Now it'll get the biggest and baddest field experiment of all time, as the flora and fauna of the shallows and the deep scattering layer collide with the dispersed plumes.

BP's schizophrenic approach to the cleanup becomes more insidious in light of the company's legal liabilities: The Clean Water Act stipulates that BP must pay $1,100 for every barrel of oil proven to have been spilled—$4,300 per barrel if gross negligence is determined. But the use of dispersants clouds estimates of the spill's size, guaranteeing that the true number will never be known—since relatively little oil will ever wash ashore—and guaranteeing that BP's liability will be vastly underestimated.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Weather and Welfare

From fine to 24 hours of the biggest August deluge in 123 years. We had 80mm mostly yesterday.  Anyway the rain stopped an hour or so before my hearing aid assessment at 11am.  Tomorrow, strong winds hit but the weekend is looking fine.

He of the Him post, now denies he did not pay me. The extra 10 for this and 10 for that he has blown out to include the $150.  In his mind he has paid.

I heard about another man today who says he has sent a payment when he hasn't.  You see, this man from the child support agency rang.  Kieren has given up on trying to get any money out of that man because even though that man is so pleasant to deal with and seemingly so genuine in wanting to honor his debt and because the man says "yes" he will pay them back no money ever turns up.  Kieren has had enough since it has been going on since February. They were prepared to forgive him his fines and penalties which are actually worth considerably more than what this man owes apparently but the whole lot will go against him again and be shelved for a while - 10 years is about what I would expect.  The poor person who is owed the child support has to wait again too.  There would have been a distinct advantage to this man paying now with about $10,000 worth of savings for him and also avoiding his pension being garnished in the future.  But this man sounds like the one I spoke to last week on the phone who said "I will never go on the old-age pension because I will always be either working or dead".  Kieren wonders why this man is always working but all his earnings are not evident.  There is nothing for the Government to access anyway.  So another person gets away with not paying.

Like I said - 2 men in one day - like father like son







Found at the base of Mt Ninderry near Yandina









Mt Ninderry from the Maroochy River taken at Maroochy River (the suburb that should have been entered into the GPS instead of Bli Bli)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Him

Last week, apart from Windows, he also bought an exercise tension gadget that you hang from the door.  I saw it for the first time today and I had a turn.  I asked him if we could put it up where we could both use it but he will not share it.  I can't believe he is worried I will sweat all over the handles.  I have to buy my own yet he can use both phones despite the fact that they harbor heaps of germs so I heard on TV - especially those that come from faecal matter.  It is time to buy alcohol wipes or simply not fear the germs on phones any more than the germs on keyboards or money.  I think it is just another point for washing your hands.

But getting back to him, I was really disappointed by his double standard.  Beg, borrow and even steal my stuff without asking and feeling like he has some sort of right to fulfill his needs and stomach with my property but he says no to things that I cannot understand as being worthy of causing distance between us.  I mean, I say "no" to some things and "yes" to others because I care about him.  He says "no" through self-indulgence and a lack of trust of me - well that is how I take it on-board. 

He removed the second heater (the one I use if I want) from the bathroom and took it to his room today, in addition to the halegen bar heater.  I let him have the latter because I asked him to only run it on one bar - 500 watts whick is economical.  Today it was 19 C when he decided to warm up his room with the fan heater instead (2400 watts).  It is not even cold with a blanket of cloud today while the rain falls.  It looks like it could be cold outside but it isn't.  There is hardly any wind either. 

He says no and I say yes with qualifications - the limits and rules I expect applied as conditions for the yes.  A business agreement if you will.  His agreement is a lie and that is what I cannot tolerate.  He breaks the agreement and expects to continue breaking it.  I get so angry but Scott will not hear me when I am angry.  I should remember that he will forget but for him to demand respect and calm negotiating tones to things that have already been negotiated repeatedly for up to 12 months, feels like some form of emotional abuse.  He has successfully turned it around in his mind to it being my fault that he does not comply with my rules.

  Usually, I then give up discussing it and I ask him to leave this house and find somewhere else to live.  It seems we cannot tolerate each other unless I quit reacting to his repeated episodes of changing the rules in my house.  I am not likely to do that except when I am crook when I think Scott enjoys the lack of attention.  Several days after I have once again asked him to look for another place to live, he simply announces (after some research when the feeling is mutual) that he cannot afford to leave and he promises to abide by my rules.  Now I have to write them down I'm told.  Just who is calling the shots here?  Help me be free from manipulators or learn how to deal with them.  I have often wondered if I am supposed to bring in reinforcements.  I think Rob tried but the way he wanted things was just going to put me into a situation where someone else would take the role of disrespect while wanting to become the self appointed leader wanting adoration who was not self-restrained enough to put a halt to taking advantage of me when I was too ill to care about the rules of my house.

I would have to say that chronic ill-health is a major deterrent to parental consistency.

I agreed to take a look at the major accounting assignment this morning.  I started correcting obvious grammatical and spelling errors but soon came to realize that his assignment was not being expressed in any way that made sense with the assignment requirements.  He was writing to a client after some financial analysis had taken place which I cannot tell you if it was right or not - the method was beyond me but the correspondence with the client gave me the impression that he was offering them a loan rather than discussing the outcome of a decision about whether or not the client make a loan application to fund an equipment purchase.  I could not make sense of it but he told me I was not helping.  And I told him that I could not help him if he would not explain his goal in the written part of the assignment. 

Good things about him are numerable and he did look good in his Coastguard uniform last night.  I am however allergic to his choices of body spray or deoderant spray which he uses with a heavy hand so looking good goes hand in hand with sneezing when it comes to that person I am talking about.  The other good thing is that the "opposing forces" negative talk  of a week ago has been replaced with how good everything is - his white teeth, his healthy body and his healthy diet (at my expense I try to point out).  It seems that if I wasn't here this son of mine would be completely happy right now (and probably broke while eating noodles in a tent somewhere).